Going Back to Being Lost
by motay
Summary: Neverland contains many lost things, lost boys, lost feelings, lost dreams. After more than thirty years after being sent away from this land and being plagued by the curse, Wendy returns to confront the original lost boy and find all the things she lost all those years ago.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first Fan Fiction so please be kind :)**

**But I will take suggestions for improvement **

**Enjoy!**

**(I also know it's kind of short but I just want to jump into the actual story in the upcoming chapters)**

* * *

The street was lined with cars, all older, all in neutral shades except Emma's bright beetle could be seen a few streets over. It was a colder autumn day, early November. The town was littered with dead leaves and orange pumpkins. It was fall at its finest.

I walked across the street towards Granny's. People chatted away on the way to their jobs or back home to get ready for their day. Some said a polite hello to me as I passed and I smiled brightly, happy to feel the cold against my skin.

I opened the door and a bell chimed signaling my entrance.

"Hey, Wendy." Red said from behind the counter. She had quickly became my closest friend. We had met back in the Enchanted Forest when I was sent there by...

Anyway, we became friends when she had found me roaming the grounds outside a castle and she helped explain where I was and such.

"How are you?" I pulled off my jacket and laid it gently over the back of the bar stool and took a seat. I was very fond of the diner. The black and white checkered floor, the red drapes over the windows. It was my second home next to the library, where my imagination continued to go wild.

"Cold." She placed a white mug on the granite in front of me. This was our routine. I came to the diner before work every day and we chatted over coffee.

She poured coffee into the mug, the steam escaping in a continuous line into the air. "You're a wolf! You can handle it." I argued

She motioned toward the steam as a point of how cold the air was but I took it as how hot the coffee was. "Maybe, but I prefer not to." She smiled then picked up two mugs in her free hand. "Give me a minute to get their order and we can talk." She quickly bounced away towards an older couple in a booth near the window.

I smiled and stirred in some milk and sugar into the dark liquid. Red was always so cheerful. Well, not always. Not when it was that time of the month.

A full moon.

"Wendy, darling." Granny took Red's abandoned spot along the counter. "How are you, my dear?" She placed her hand on my arm and squeezed. Like Red, Granny had become family. Even after the curse, when we were all Jane and John Doe's, we had formed a friendship.

I nodded. "Very well, how are you?"

She shrugged releasing my arm and picking a mug for herself. "The cold is getting me nervous." She poured hot chocolate into the cup, she was never a coffee drinker, and lifted it to her lips. "I know it snowed in our land but never got this cold."

"It's because you found the invention of heating."

Heat and air condition was one of the most prominent benefits coming to this land. I don't think I could ever go back unless we shoved them through the portal with us.

She grew somber instantly. "That, and something bad is going to happen. I can sense it."

I gave her a look before taking my own sip of coffee. She said this rarely but it was always right.

"What is it this time?"

She sighed and frowned.

That was odd, normally she just said it was an unexpected visitor strolling through town or something else harmless. Bad but not horrible.

"What?"

"I heard news."

"About?" I urged.

"You."

My face scrunched together. Me? I kept to myself, I wasn't a large part of the community in the Enchanted Forest. Why would I be on someone's list?

She looked at me straight in my eyes and it made my heart stop. "It's him."

We only used 'him' for one person.

_Him._

"Him who?" I asked even though I knew the answer. My heart sank.

Red walked up and saw her grandmother's serious expression and found my worried one. "You told her?" Red's eyes widened. "How could you do that?"

"She needs to know." Granny huffed and brushed Red off. With a hardened look she turned back to me. "He's been asking about you."

"Now? She's so happy." I looked at Red. Happy? I was happy twenty seconds ago. Now I was angry, mad. He had no right to ask about me. No right to even let my name grace his lips.

"How do you know?" I swallowed. He didn't have contact with this world.

But, we had it with his.

The royal family's recent trip to Neverland.

"When Emma and Henry and the rest of them returned, Hook mentioned you." I felt both Granny's and Red's eyes watching me as Granny explained. "He said when things were slightly more resolved amongst them, he asked if he knew where you were now. Since the curse was broken."

I weaved my fingers between one another. I looked at my finger nails, trying to distract myself. Everything was crashing down. Every wall I built. Every safe I had locked.

"What did Hook say?" Curiosity started to seep into my thoughts. I shook my head and looked up to them.

Red lifted her shoulders. "He didn't say."

I pushed away my mug and stepped off the stool. Before I knew what I was doing, I was putting on my coat.

"Where are you going?" Red asked. Her big sister complex was kicking in.

I pulled out a few dollars from my pocket. "I have to go clear my head."

"I'm sorry, dear, you had to know." Granny gave me a look of regret.

I nodded. "It's okay." I placed the money on the counter before giving them a saddened smile. "Thank you for it all."

"I'll talk to you later!" Red called to me as I walked out of the small diner into the cold.

* * *

I didn't know exactly where I was going, just that I was follow my instincts.

After all these years, all this pain. I may not be in the same realm, but he had no idea what was coming.

My instinct led me to Emma's house. I knew she wasn't home but I wasn't here for her.

I knocked on the door and like clockwork, the person I sought stood in front of me.

"Wendy Darling." A confused smile twitched at his lips. "It's been a long time."

"We need to talk." My expression didn't lighten. I was too mad to try and be convincing.

"Come in." He held the door open more as I walked into the foyer. He led me into the dining room and motioned to a chair. "Do you want a drink?"

"What did he want?" I ignored his question. "Why did he ask about me?"

"Love, I can't read minds." He took a seat across from me. "Especially not his." I had never seen Hook look so good, happy. He traded his normal pirate attire for jeans and a sweater. His hook peaked out underneath his jacket sleeve. Emma must really be a savior.

"Killian, you know him almost as well as me, I need to know."

"Are you sure?" His concern showed on his face. He knew the path this would lead me down. He knew what happened the first time.

I nodded.

I had to know.


	2. Chapter 2

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**I finished this chapter along with the next (I feel like this one is short) but I think I might wait until tomorrow or later today to post the next chapter!**

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**:)**

* * *

It was their last night on the island. Snow, Charming, Emma, Regina, and everyone else they picked up along the way were sitting around a fire sharing grins and smiles. Charming got out of his poisoned state, Henry out of his captive state, everyone else was simply happy.

They didn't even notice the fire dimming.

"I'll go get more firewood." Hook announced, standing. Let them rejoice for the moment before the journey home tomorrow.

Emma looked up in appreciation and moved to stand.

"Don't worry about it. Spend time with Henry." Hook smiled and Emma mouthed 'thank you' before turning back to Henry.

Killian walked farther into the dark forest. Just a few more pieces should do before they decided to call it a night.

"Captain." The familiar voice haunted him.

Killian turned around as he drew his sword. It was him. The boy who never grew up.

"What do you want?" Killian asked still holding his sword confidently. He didn't want to risk anything.

The teenager leaned against a tree and raised his hands. "Not to fight. I didn't come to cause harm. Just to talk."

"Talking doesn't suit you."

"Put down the hero facade, captain." He motioned towards the sword. "We're old friends."

Against his better judgment, Killian put the sword back. If he wanted to hurt them now, he'd have to go through a bloody lot of people.

"What do you want?" Killian asked as he resumed picking up wood for the fire.

"I need to ask about someone."

Killian's ear perked up in interest. "Let me guess. The crocodile." He second time he had come to the island, there was some problems with a reptile. Killian shuddered with the memory.

The teen gave him a look. "We found Rumple."

Killian smirked. "Not the one, but good." He turned to him and raised an eyebrow. "Wendy Darling."

The boy shifted uncomfortably. "Ah." Yes, that was it. The girl was the one he sought.

"Is she in Storybrooke?" He asked, eager.

Killian shrugged. "I can't tell you." He remembered the history between Wendy and the boy. He knew the hurt he caused her. The boy's face narrowed. "I don't know where she is." Killian covered the lie nicely.

"I sent her to the enchanted forest."

"Yes, and some stayed there. With their memories."

"She's not in the mortal world?" The obvious answer was yes. Anyone who was around the kingdom at the time was transported. Killian, himself, wasn't but he was also not in that realm. However, he had grown to protect the girl. When he would come to Neverland, she would treat him kindly, even sparing his life on a few occasions. Now that he was in Storybrooke, they had a few exchanges. Mostly her helping him on modern day things like what their dollars meant and how to work the lights.

"She's past, mate."

"Past?" The boy froze, shocked.

"Away." Killian clarified. "She died from disease while in the Forest."

"Died?" The boy's face fell into a million pieces, it was clear this was not in the plans.

Killian shrugged. "I only saw her once after she came. She was half way there. Gray, sick."

"Why didn't you bring her to me?" The boy grew mad. He stepped away from the tree and approached Killian, who took a step back.

"By the time we would have reached this place, she would have been dead."

The boy shook his head in disbelief. No. She couldn't be dead. "I don't believe you."

Killian shrugged. "I don't know why." The captain moved the wood he gathered under his arm. "Disease happens.

Maybe not on Neverland but it happens."

But the boy knew this. He's been affected by disease before.

"Thirty years ago?" He asked quietly.

"Yes."

Killian watched the boy's eyes narrow to the ground. His lips became tight. Killian looked away as he realized the boy truly thought he could get her back.

When he looked back, the boy was gone. Nothing but stale feelings remained.

* * *

"You told him I was dead?" I asked Killian after he finished.

He shrugged. "We may have not been fighting the same side, but I know how he hurt you."

I put my elbows on the table and held my head in my hands. I should have been relieved that he thought I was dead. I wouldn't have to worry about him anymore. Wouldn't have to care.

But the nagging feeling continued to stay in my mind. I needed to find him. Go resolve everything that has been lost for all these years.

"Did you see my brothers?" I asked.

"No." His voice didn't mask the regret. "But I didn't see enough of the boys, not all of them."

I rubbed my eyes from keeping the tears back. My brothers were taken a long time ago. Just like me. Except I was returned and they were still lost.

"Wendy, it's not worth it."

"What?"

"Going to look for them." He said simply. He wasn't trying to hurt me, just help me. "Peter isn't like he once was all those years ago. He's older, wiser, more hostile."

Was he really? I heard the horrible stories from many people, including Killian himself, but could he have really gotten worse? Although he sent me away and kept my brothers, he was still kind. Helpful even. To me at least.

I needed to find my brothers. It had been so long. Peter knew where they were. No one here could give me answers.

"No, Wendy." Killian spotted the wheels turning in my head. I looked up and met his concerned look.

"I know you want to find them, but there has to be another way."

I shook my head. "Not if they're there."

"I can help you." He motioned around the empty room. "We can help you."

He meant the group that had just recently made the trip. The group that saved Henry. The royals. Although appealing, they had their happy ending and I couldn't take it.

"I have to do this on my own."

"Wendy."

I pushed the chair back and stood up. "Thank you for all your help. I appreciate it."

He sighed, standing with me. "Just do not get injured or hit with the poison." He put his hand in his coat pocket and pulled out a vial. Pixie Dust. "You can't find answers when you're stuck."

He held out the dust filled glass and I gave him a sad smile.

"Thank you."

I was going to Neverland.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you all for the encouraging words and the follows and the favorites! It means a lot!**

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* * *

Later that night, after telling Granny and Red my plan and them of course telling me everything wrong with my course of action, I found myself standing at the window of my tiny apartment above the small grocery store.

Two words were caught in my throat._ I believe_. All I had to do was say it and the shadow would come and take me away.

Easy.

It shouldn't still work, this little trick. However, I wasn't an adult yet. I was still 17. Slowly aging, sure but for the moment, and when I reached the island, I would stay also shouldn't work because we weren't amongst the realms. But our little town held so much magic, we were counted along.

I took a deep breath. _Don't get injured._ Hook's advice ran in my head. I wrapped my hand around the pixie dust vial I had strung onto an old chain. It hung around my neck for safe keeping.

_Here we go._

"I believe." I said into the frozen air.

Nothing happened.

I gripped my backpack tighter around my shoulders. It held everything I would need for a longer journey. Everything I owned.

The air whispered past the window, slowly gaining speed as it did so.

Instantly, a large black mist formed in front of me, taking the form of a large person. It reached it's hand out to me. I gasped as it took a hold of my arm tightly and lifted me into the sky, above our small town into the night sky.

All I saw were clouds as we passed through the invisible barriers of the worlds. We were going fast, although, time seemed slow even to the point of not moving at all as we broke through the timeless realm of Neverland.

I remembered this sight, the large island, the beach, the thick forest. The large rocks and caves. Memories swarmed into my mind as I began falling towards the ground.

* * *

By the time I registered the shadow released it's grip on me, I was already on the ground. Luckily, it had only been about fifteen feet but it still hurt.

"Ow!" I laid on my back rubbing my arm. Hopefully nothing was broken or I really would have to play nice.

I lifted myself onto my knees, making sure to get my footing. After moving through the air, I always seemed to need to get my legs back in the motion of walking.

"Stop!" A male voice called as multiple boys emerged from the brush.

They were all hooded and aged from twelve to seventeen. I could tell they were all from different walks of life even though they all wore the same ragged clothes and capes. Some had knotted hair, crooked teeth, and the overall look like they could attack at any moment. However, it wasn't them who scared me. It was the boys who were more groomed, blessed with straighter teeth, had an air about them that they came from wealthy families. They were the reckless ones.

Some held spears and bows while others had torches to light their path.

"What's your name?" The same voice broke through my thoughts.

I spun and tried to slow my breathing._ You've done this before, Wendy. You're okay._

"What's your name?" I countered to no one in particular. I wasn't sure who asked the question. They all were looking at me, waiting for an answer.

I quickly looked at all their faces. Out of the ten of them, none looked familiar. None were my brothers.

"I don't think you're in the position to be asking questions." A dark haired boy, maybe fifteen emerged out of the circle. He was one of the kids that had to come from a privileged family. His teeth were too straight and his attitude was too cocky. He probably arrived at Neverland after being denied an extravagant gift. He thought no one loved him because his parents didn't want to support whatever he wanted. The lost boys normally moved away from these types of kids. They often caused problems because of their ideas that they were above everyone else.

"I think I'm in a fine position." I finally spoke knowing who I was up against.

The guy smirked and tapped his finger against chin. "He'll definitely be happy to see you."

"Well, I hope." I didn't take my eyes off of him as he circled me. "I came here for him."

"He who?" The guy played dumb. This was a game I didn't want to play. Why did he recruit someone like this? Especially to welcome the new boys.

"Santa Claus." I said sarcastically.

Suddenly, the boy was in my face, maybe three inches away. His face was in front of mine, I felt his breath against my face and my heart begin to race. He moved his spear dangerously close to my face. "Don't test me, girl."He looked me up and down. The approving grin he gave me made me grow uncomfortable.

I pushed the spear away from me. "Can we hurry this along then?"

He pushed the spear against my skin. One little flick of his wrist and I was done for. Maybe they wouldn't let me die, but they would make me stay. Forever. I couldn't risk it.

"What's the rush? You're not leaving anytime soon anyway."

I swallowed. "I have business to attend to." I felt cold blade against my skin. I wondered how many times this happened to other people. This boy thought he could overstep his boundaries.

"With?"

"The original lost boy." I said like it wasn't obvious. Who else would I come here for besides him? My brothers of course but he didn't need to know that.

The guy tilted his head to the left and right. Thinking. He didn't have the power to make decisions. I knew that.

"I can help you." He moved his face closer. "For a price." He grinned again before removing the spear from my neck and placed it to his side.

I looked down at the ground trying to think. What did he want?

"And what would that be?" I asked curious. My eyes, once again, followed him as he circled me. I watched him look me up and down appreciatively again. _Oh_.

"We can discuss it as we walk." He motioned towards the forest. "We've got a while."

"And if I refuse?" Like any reasonable person would.

He squinted at me before smirking. "I have a while to kill you."

My eyes flashed to the circle of lost boys. None of them seemed like this was a new threat. How often has this happened? Monthly? Weekly? Daily? Granted, it wasn't everyday a girl arrived on the island, the shadow made sure of it, but it did happen once in a while. Still, did this happen when they came?

I swallowed. "Fine." I muttered. I didn't plan on taking any offer or deal, I just needed to start moving.

"Good." He continued to hold out his hand in the direction to get me to move, which I did.

And that's went it went really wrong.

He slapped my ass.

I knew it from the moment I saw him. He was one of those guys that thought the world revolved around them. I, being a girl, had to like him right? Had to fall to his charm? No. And I showed him I wasn't in the mood to play around.

I gritted my teeth as I turned to him. I let my lips fall into a flirty grin before I kicked the spear out of his hand, making it fly a few feet away. Then, I punched him in the jaw as I reached to his belt and stole the dagger that was sitting in a leather holster.

"Girl!" He managed through his teeth before spitting into the dirt. He straightened up before taking an advancing step. Me, being quicker, pushed him into a large tree behind him and held the dagger into his throat. He froze, realizing the disadvantage he was in. A little more pressure and he'd have a nice slit.

"Do not touch me." I spoke every syllable. "If you touch me again, I will not think twice about killing you."

He twisted against my arm, trying to knock the knife from my hand but I kneed him in the groin.

He yelled in pain as he crumpled a little before I pushed him to the tree again. The knife breaking the skin just enough to see a vain of red.

I was breathing heavily.

The guy beneath the blade I coveted was mirroring my breathing."You'll regret this." He said calmly. I saw the anger in his eyes and it scared me more than I should have let it.

I opened my mouth to reply but was cut off my a new voice.

"Bravo."

* * *

**Eeep! I hope it was good! I hope you enjoyed! I'll try and post the next chapter once I clean it up a little!**

**Thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

**You all are too nice! Really, you are! **

**Here's the next chapter, I couldn't resist updating it again tonight! **

**I hope you like it! **

**:)**

* * *

"A girl has managed to hold one of you against your will."

I recognized the voice.

"Felix!" The boy beneath my knife squirmed to be heard. "Get her off of me!" The boy barred his teeth to me and I pushed him harder. He tried pushing against me but my footing was strong.

I felt Felix approach from behind. "I kind of like an unknown ruining your fun." His tone was enthusiastic and I imagined his face mirroring it.

The guy sighed beneath my knife. He knew Felix was second in command. He had to listen.

"Who is our heroine of the day?" He hadn't seen me yet. When he did, he'd recognize me. Felix was my friend from my first time in Neverland. I was fourteen and he was the age he was now, seventeen, leading him to assume the big brother role in my life.  
Felix was next to us gently moving my hand away from his throat. "Let go of him, even just for the moment." He coerced me in a smooth voice.

He always had a way of getting what he wanted.

I swallowed and slowly removed the knife. I was proud of the red line around his neck. It showed him, and everyone else, including myself that I wouldn't be messed with.

I turned to Felix slowly and his eyes widened as if he was seeing a ghost.

Which according to Hook, he was.

"Felix." I breathed.

"My, my." His lips formed into a smile. "The original lost girl." He bent forward in a bow, mocking me. It was our little joke. I was the princess but Felix wasn't the Prince.

"You know her?" The boy coughed, finding his voice now that the knife was removed.

Felix shook his head gently not removing his eyes from me. "No."

The boy's face pulled together in confusion. "You said, 'original lost girl'."

Felix punched the tree next to the boys head. His temper flared at the question. "Did I say Cameron?"

The boy cringed at the impact and looked down in compliance.

Before I could threaten Cameron, Felix picked up a wad of his shirt near the collar. "I'm sure he'll love to know what you did to her." His threat held more weight than mine could ever dream. "You're already on your, what, second strike?"

Cameron nervously nodded. He knew what could happen. I knew what could happen.

"I'm sorry. I...I...didn't know." Cameron stuttered.

I scoffed at this and finally opened my mouth. "You didn't know and you thought it was okay?" I moved to punch him again but Felix caught my fist.

"Not today, lost one." He said as he gave me a look to stop. I knew what he was doing. Trying to make it seem like I was just like any other girl. "You'll be returned to your land once we speak to him." He let go of my fist and I cradled it against my chest.

"Do not say anything about this exchange to anyone. Including Him." Felix announced to the group of boys. I forgot we had an audience. They all glanced at one another to see if it was a trick. "If any of you say anything to anyone about it... Well, let's say it will not be pleasant." Felix's dark threat was not lost on the boys as they nodded in agreement. Even Cameron nodded along as he walked slowly away from me.

Felix turned back to me. "Let's go." He motioned for me to follow him and I raised my eyebrow. He nodded his head again towards the woods. "Go."

I rolled my eyes and walked into the forest.

* * *

After he led us closer to the clearing, Felix finally spoke.

"I missed you, Wen." The gap between us and the other boys began to grow and we both knew it was safe to talk. His voice stayed low. "It's been a long time."

I nodded, pushing a branch out of my way. "Me too." Felix was like my older brother when I was here. He had my back when I needed him.

Felix looked down at me. He was almost a foot taller than me which made his appearance more threatening. "He's been looking for you."

And the truth was revealed. I swallowed nervously. "Why?" Felix had to know something.

He shrugged. "He doesn't understand why you left all those years ago."

I couldn't stop the words from coming out of my mouth. "He said I left?"

His face collided with confusion. "Didn't you?"

"No." I said as if it was obvious but to him it wasn't. He was told I left. I chose to leave. But it wasn't true. Why would I want to leave a place where I finally felt at home? "He sent me to Storybrooke."

"Storybrooke?" He had probably heard of this many times in the last few weeks.

I nodded. "I was put under the sleeping curse."

"Why would he do something like that?" It seemed like Felix couldn't wrap his head around the concept of His deception. He was almost like a god to Felix and the other boys. Anything he said was law, his beliefs were their beliefs. He was a dictator.

I shrugged. "He said I would ruin his plans." I pushed the memory of that day farther down. I couldn't think of it right before I saw him again.

"Plans?" For the many years of Felix being his right hand man, he had no idea what I was talking about.

"Felix." I said calmly as we stepped through the thickest part of brush into the clearing. "Don't you know he always has plans?" My voice disappeared into a whisper.

This part of Neverland was the one I knew best, the camp. Many, many years ago this part of the forest was cleared out for the specific purpose of living. The tall trees were perfect for hiding and holding the mini tree houses that littered the canopy. They were for the boys, two to three in each one, where they slept and kept their belongings. In the nighttime, like it was now, a torch was outside each one, illuminating the doorway and creating shadows on the ground.

Felix leaned into my ear. "Go wait in the cave, he should be back any minute."

I nodded. "Thanks, Felix."

A smile spread across his face. "You're welcome, lost girl."

I blushed without thinking about it and walked quickly over to the cave so I went unseen.

It was dark inside where the leftover light from the torch ended but a hazy glow masked the walls. On the make shift shelves, trinkets from his years were on display. Jewels, weapons, anything that had that special touch.

His voice broke through my nostalgia. "Felix, what happened with the new one?"

Panicked, I hurried behind a large rock in the back of the cave. My heart was beating loudly in the silence and I was afraid they could hear it.

"It was a girl." Felix responded honestly as he walked through the large opening, carrying his own torch, lighting the cave more. "I sent her back."

He still didn't come into view as the familiar voice rose with anger. "You sent her back?" I thought only Peter had the power to send people back but I guess over the years, Felix was granted this power as well.

"It wasn't her." Felix tried to calm him down. Her as in me? Felix mentioned he was looking for me but was he really?

The cave grew lighter and I ducked behind the rock, blocking my view from the exchange.

"You should have still let me know. Next time, tell me." His voice echoed through the cave now. "Maybe someone knows information."

"Yes." Felix replied. He must have been telling Him lies for a while if he could do it without getting caught.

"Go, now. I have thinking to do." His voice was close. "Speaking of the girl, now that I guess it's true, I want to speak to Cameron in the morning." He didn't take harassing girls well. People may have thought he was a monster, but he had limits.

Except when he harassed me, but he always called it teasing and _always_ in good nature.

I heard Felix inhale. "Of course." I imagined his face growing dark at the knowledge of someone telling.

"I will also ignore the fact that you didn't tell me." He dismissed Felix.

"I apologize." I heard Felix's footsteps disappear, leaving only my breathing to my ears. I swallowed quietly. I wanted to turn around but I couldn't risk it.

"Where are you?" I heard Him say to himself quietly. I remembered when he used to talk to himself in his sleep. I smiled at the memory.

"You're not dead." He added just as quiet. He must have been looking at a map. "Hook was lying."

_He was talking about me. _

I stood up. The original lost boy stood at a small desk with a map smoothed out on top. His hand cupped his chin in thought. He was just as handsome as he's always been. His lighter brown hair brushing against his ears in soft wave. His defined jaw. His lean, muscular body under his dark clothes. His gray eyes that could make me do anything. The teenager who never grew up.

He didn't hear me as I walked towards the light. He was too focused on his task.

_The task to find me._

"I would feel it if you were dead." He whispered to himself again.

I stood a few feet away now, my presence still unknown only for this moment.

"Should we try that theory out?" I said into the silence.

His eyes snapped up to me and he did everything but gasp.

"Wendy." His whisper fell on my ear.

"Peter Pan."

* * *

_Reunited and it feels so good! _

_Yes, I have a thing with cliff hangers. _

_Sorry. Haha. _

_The next chapter will be up soon! _

_As always, thanks for reading! :)_


	5. Chapter 5

_New chapter! YAY! I'll admit, this chapter was a rough one! (This last episode of OUAT did NOT go how I wanted! Come on! He's holding her against her will IN A BOX! Not cool, Peter!) _

_Anyway, I hope you enjoy!_

_Oh, and THANK YOU for all the reviews and the likes and the favorites! It makes my day every time I get an email that says something about the story! _

* * *

**I remembered the first time I saw Him.** My brothers, John and Michael, and I had been brought here by shadow when I was fifteen and they were twelve and eight.

One of the older lost boys found us on the beach as we wandered around looking for other people. He told us that we were on the island of Neverland, "the place where nobody grew up". The tall, blonde boy said.

"Is it just you?" John asked him and the boy laughed as a response.

"Of course not, I'm a lost boy." He began walking us down the beach towards the woods. "There is a group of us who live on the island." I let this sink into my head. There were others? How did they get here? Why were they here? All the questions I had, Peter held the answers. Though, I wouldn't get them for a while.

"Oh." John said simply as he thought about what he said.

We walked in silence for a few moments before the boy turned around and walked backwards a few steps. "Of course, no girls live here." The boy looked at me and grinned. I noticed the boy was quite cute. He had a defined jaw that would make me think he was British, but his American accent told me otherwise. His brown eyes held curiosity as he looked at me.

I touched my hair self-consciously. I always did it when I was nervous. "Why? Because we're always right?"

His grin turned into a wide smile. I would find out later that these were rare. "Is that what they call bossy now?"

I laughed, embarrassed. "I'm not bossy."

"Don't listen to her." John told him. "She's exactly like our..." He trailed off before frowning.

We had lost our parents only a few months earlier.

Now, we just traveled from relative to relative until this particular night when we said the words to come here.

"Like?" The boy didn't push, he was just curious.

I lowered my eyes from him. "Our mother."

His mouth formed a circle. "Oh." He touched John's shoulder. "It's okay. The pain goes away eventually."

How he was so wrong. The pain never goes away. It was like a cut. You silently pray that it will go away, but when it does, a scar is left in its place.

"Do you have a leader?" Michael spoke for the first time as we began our descent through the forest.

The boy nodded. "Yes."

"Who is it?" John continued. For only twelve, he wanted order.

"Me." Another voice said from behind us and we all turned around.

Before us was Peter, still the same age as he was now, but had a light air about him. He was happier, I think. At least from the stories, I knew he was.

He wore dark pants and a green jacket and shorter tunic. Nothing that the men at home would wear. He had a sword attached to his belt, and a small vial of what looked like dirt, later I found it was pixie dust, on a chain against his chest. His light brown hair was in between short and long, the sides brushing his ears. He was taller, not as tall as the blonde boy, and slightly muscular. No doubt from being on the island for so long. But I didn't know how long. Not then.

I realized then that he was grinning at me and his eyes stole my attention. They were deep green and they looked like I could get lost in them.

He was very handsome.

"Felix, I have it from here."

The boy that led us this far nodded at him and looked at me. He smiled before disappearing into the forest ahead of us.

"And you are?" John asked crossing his arms over his chest. Michael and I looked expectantly at the new boy before us.

_"I'm Peter Pan." _

* * *

"Wendy." He said again, pulling me from my memories. Peter had a look of relief over his face that I was alive and more importantly, that I was here.

He looked the same as he always did. Brown hair, muscular body, dark clothing. He was the beautiful boy that haunted my dreams.

I tilted my head. "Don't wear it out."

He smirked. "Gwendolyn."

"Even worse." He always used to call me by my full name when he was annoyed with me. Or to just make me annoyed.

He straightened his back so he stood at his full height. "I knew you weren't dead."

I pulled the Cameron's dagger from my boot that I hid there. "We can try that theory out." I walked over to him and positioned the blade over his heart. "I'll kill you and we can see if I feel it." I looked up at him and saw his eyes darken.

"You wouldn't." He tried pulling the handle from me but I held it tight. My heart sped up a little from his closeness. I cursed myself. He let go from his hold and stepped away so my head cleared. I looked at the blade, touching the sharp point.

"That's an experiment for a different day." I slid it back into my boot and smiled at him. "So, wonder boy didn't work out." I made it a statement. He gave me a tight smile and I laughed.

"I also have plans for you and I can put them into motion." He threatened me darkly and I mocked him by pouting. I looked at the small table he still stood by and a map laid spread out on top. Touching it, the images began to rearrange itself and it showed the cave we stood at now with a large X over it. It was enchanted to find me.

"It's only been a few moments and you're threatening me already? Feels like home." I pushed the map on the floor and he watched it drift to the ground.

I sat on the table in front of him and crossed my legs. He looked at me with a hard expression before leaning down to pick up the map. "I see thirty years hasn't made you mature anymore."

"I see thirty years hasn't stopped you from ruining my life." I mocked him in his own accent. It was a talent I picked up the first time.

He raised an eyebrow in doubt and rolled up the map against him. "I didn't ruin your life but I can if you want."

I rolled my eyes at his threat. "Why were you asking about me?"

"I wasn't." He said simply before sliding the map into a crack in the rock wall.

I touched my heart and sighed sarcastically. "Lying is normally your strong suit, Peter. I'm disappointed."

"I am definitely putting planning two into motion."

I laughed to cover my nervousness. I knew he wouldn't have me killed but that didn't mean his threats were empty.

"Why are you here, Wendy?" He sounded slightly exhausted.

"Why do you think, Peter?"

I touched my hair as he walked back to me. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned into me slightly. "I think you missed being lost. You missed the island." He smirked. "You missed me." He whispered deviously. He sent chills down my back. He knew what he was doing. Which was odd, because I don't think my own heart let my mind know exactly what he did to me. How much I missed him until now. We were a pair before, I was infatuated with him. But right now, I was a jumbled mess of emotions. Anger, regret, fear, happiness. Lust even found a place amongst them.

I shook my head clearing it of thought . "Actually, I came to see why my name was leaving your lips so much lately. Maybe you miss me?"

He caught me by surprise by nodding. "I would be lying if I said I didn't."

"Odd, considering you sent me away." I pushed myself off the table.

He watched me walk around him. "Let's not discuss the past."

"Fine." I agreed as he turned to face me. I stood there looking at him. The light from the torches that lined the walls pooled over his face and I tried to deny the smile that was threatening my lips. I missed him more than I thought. "Let's talk about the future. I'm staying for a while and I need your permission to leave when I need to."

"No." He said simply and my smile dropped from my face.

"Yes."

"No."

"Peter, you need my help." I touched his bicep and he looked at my hand. No one touched Peter.

"With?" He didn't remove my hand, instead, I think I felt him flex.

"Finding the Truest Believer." I let him go and I touched my chin. "Should I bring up Wonder Boy?"

He gave me a look and took his turn to touch me. His fingers tousled the ends of my long brown hair. He always used to touch my hair. "I missed you."

"Peter, if you have been asking about me just because you missed me," I pushed his hand away. "Send me back now."

He grinned. "It's not the plan for you to know why I've been asking. Not yet, anyway."

I shrugged and hugged myself. It was getting colder. "Well, when you want to divulge that information, please don't hesitate to share."

"How long do you plan on staying?" He moved away from me and took a seat in the chair near the desk. He needed to rearrange his plans due to my arrival.

"Until I get what I want."

His eyes flickered to mine. "Which is?"

"It's not in the plans for you to know." I muttered and walked over to the wall of collectables. I saw various things like rubies, a skull, and a sword. I realized it was my sword that he made for me last time. It had 'Wendy' carved in the handle.

"Not yet?"

"Maybe ever." Next to the sword was a dead rose, dried from time. It was the flower he had given to me on my last night. I realized after I left, it was a goodbye present. "I need a place to stay." I announced picking up the rose. The petals were a dark purple, crisp and fragile.

"Your home is still untouched."

I had my own tree house amongst the other lost boy's. When I had arrived, Peter asked what I needed to be more comfortable in Neverland. I said my own house so I didn't have to live with the other boy's since my brothers shared a room with another boy. The next day, I had my own house next to Peter's. Connected by a rope bridge. It was my very own and I guess through time, it stayed my own.

"Good." I nodded.

A sly smile crossed his lips. "Still next to mine." I blushed at his comment. Of course I knew it was next to his. He just liked making me blush.

"Even better." I frowned the red falling from my cheeks. "Then you can hear my protests from when one of your lost boys attacks me."

"Cameron." He gritted. "What did he do?"

Peter's eyes darkened as I recounted the story. He didn't appreciate the disrespecting of girls, which was refreshing, but he was especially protective of me. Felix knew this. The other lost boys knew this. I knew this.

Cameron did not know this.

"I'll take care of it." Peter's eyes were preoccupied now. His thoughts were clouded with punishment.

"Don't bother." I dismissed his silent idea. Cameron's threats were nothing I couldn't handle. He would be stupid to make a move. "If it happens again, I'm dealing with it." I picked up the sword and let the blade reflect the fire. "Dreamshade will be the least of his problems."

"Wendy." Concerned lined his voice. He was worried for me. Always worried except when he's the one that does the harm.

"I got it." I put the sword through my belt and let it hang. I would put it in my room for safe keeping. "I have to show them all I'm not afraid."

He gave me a look. He remembered the first time I said that. One of the lost boys lost a finger. "If he does something, I will take matters into my hands."

"Not unless I do it first." I could handle myself. I mean, he sent me to a strange land where I had to figure everything out so I wouldn't be killed. I could handle some rowdy teenage boys.

I walked towards the edge of the cave and watched the other lost boys. Some were dancing around the fire, others ate, some played, all wasting energy before bed.

"I have missed you." He said behind me.

"I didn't come here for you." I said into the colder air. The words hurt to say. No matter why I had come, a deep part of me came for him. To see him. To be with him. But the other part had a mission. One that couldn't be risked.

I took a deep breath and walked into the chilled air, leaving my words to hang in the air.

* * *

**I hope you liked it! I'll try and update again in the next day or two! I have lots of plans for this story in the next few chapters. Yes, there will be a little more history and of course, romantic themes and such! :)**

**Thanks for reading! **

**Feel free to review or follow or whatever you want! :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry this took so long! It has been an extremely rough week! I have been in another state and family stuff and just a lot! I'll be doing lots of updates this week (of Thanksgiving for those in the States) so stay tuned!**

**And I have to mention…**

**The episode this past week was crazy. Like my mouth fell open and I was beyond shocked. That being said, Peter is not Rumples dad in my story! (Like literally everyone's I have read this week lol) In a few chapters I'll be explaining his backstory but for now, just know it is not following Once anymore in terms of Peter's story besides his need for the truest believer. **

**And: thanks for reading and following and everything ya'll do! It's great! **

**(And this might be a little short! I just wanted to give you something! But it is crucial to the story!)**

**Thanks Again! :)**

* * *

I had never been more grateful for morning.

The sun's light flooded into my small house and woke me from my restless night.

The whole night, I couldn't sleep. It wasn't the forest's sounds, the occasional cracking of a twig or rustling of the leaves that kept me awake. Nor was is that feeling you get when you aren't home. You know, that underlying desire in your heart that you wish you could be in your own bed. It wasn't that because, as much as I hate to admit, this was my home. My bed was familiar, the forest was familiar, even the air, the cooler temperature and the scents it carried, was familiar. However, every time I turned, I was haunted by it.

I was alone.

I had never slept alone in this house by myself except for the first week upon my arrival. On the eighth night, the original lost boy himself had joined me in my restlessness. I think it was out of concern. The lost boys began noticing my declining state. "What's your problem?" They'd ask me, or "this is why we don't have girls" others would comment. My joyful emotions had turned dark and irritable. I was increasingly reluctant to do anything. Towards the end of the week, I had just stopped talking. I was going on maybe an hour of sleep each night.

It was horrible.

Then, Peter finally asked me what was wrong. He thought he had done something and I had to reassure him that wasn't the case. He asked what would make me more comfortable. More willing to sleep? I simply said company.

When I was in London, I had shared a room with my brothers until I was twelve, then for the next three, I had my beloved dog, Nana. I had grown so used to someone being near me as I slept that I could not rest peacefully without a warm body around. It had become my weakness.

And although my brothers were on the island with me, the first time, they had shared a room with one of the newer boys on the island. They didn't want me ruining their chance to make friends. I didn't want to do that, either. So, I had my own room, by myself, in my own sleepless agony.

Taking this into account, he offered to sleep on the floor until I got comfortable. The first night, he left me after I fell asleep for his own bed and I woke up to find the room empty. I quickly became panicked and whisked my blanket off my bed, walked across the small hanging bridge that connected mine to his and I curled myself into my blanket on his floor. When morning came, I found myself in his bed, and he was on the floor.

He stayed with me every night after that until the last. We agreed that he would wake me if he needed to go and how long it would take him, his idea, and he'd tell me I'd be okay for the short time. When he returned, if asleep, he'd leave me be and take his spot on the floor. If not, he'd make sure I knew he was back and I would then fall asleep. I had become dependent on this routine we created.

A week and a half after that, the lost boys noticed how I looked well, but how he did not. I would hear whispers about his declining state and his harsher attitude. His patience run thin with the boys. Darkness surrounded him like a blanket. The glint in his eyes all but disappeared completely.

Thinking of what helped me, I offered him my bed, which he refused. "I'm fine, Wendy. I don't mind the floor." He told me.

So, I moved my blanket to the floor next to him and got comfortable.

"What are you doing?" He asked me, a slight annoyance in his voice. It was times like this when I knew all he thought of me was how young I was. My fifteen compared to his hundreds.

"I'm not sleeping in a bed until you do." A darkness was under his eyes that wasn't there before I came. "You need it."

He watched my eyes as I snuggled into my pillow and closed my eyes.

"Fine." He said to me and I felt him stand up. I smiled to myself at the victory. He finally listened to me about something. But suddenly, I was being lifted and I opened my eyes to find Peter placing me back in the bed.

He threw my pillow at me.

"Peter." I said softly. He needed to sleep more than me. He was a leader to these boys, he needed a clear head. I just needed a place to rest my eyes.

Then without a word, he put his own pillow next to mine and laid next to me. He lifted his blanket over his shoulder and turned away from me. He was only a few inches away from me, this bed was obviously smaller with two, and I smiled to myself again. The closeness was something I craved eagerly back then. But I was happier that he would get sleep now.

Although he ignored me, out of anger and annoyance, the whole next day, I was elated. I saw the darkness had begun to fade and he was more energetic as he directed the boys.

It was amazing what a good night's rest could do. Balance seemed restored on the island. The boys noticed a difference. I noticed a difference. Peter noticed a difference.

That night, we slept the same way, minus the theatrics, and that's how we stayed every night. Right next to each other.

_More or less. _

I groaned and put the pillow on top of my face, pushing the memories from my head. How could I still need him after everything? I was supposed to hate him but the more I thought about him and what we were before I couldn't shake the thoughts of hope I had for us.

I hated those thoughts.

_Knock, knock._

I wondered what time it was. Eight o'clock? Seven? The dreaded Six? It didn't matter though, time didn't matter on Neverland. Only sunrise and sunset. "Yes?" I mumbled through the pillow.

I heard the door open but didn't remove the soft pillow from my face. I could sense it was Peter.

I also sensed the smirk on his face as he asked, "Have a good night's rest?" Because his voice hinted at amusement.

I lifted the pillow and instantly threw it at his head. Peter caught it neatly and let out a small laugh and looked from the pink cloth to me and took in my appearance.

My hair was no doubt in a twisted mess on my head and my eyes were still laced with the small amount of sleep I managed. Peter, however, was in fresh clothes and stood at the end of the bed, leaning against the bed post, grinning at me. He knew exactly how well I slept.

"I see you have worked on your throwing arm." He commented before placing the pillow on the bed at my feet.

I frowned at his good mood. "What can I help you with?" I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up, stretching out the horrible sleep.

He shrugged at looked around the room thoughtfully. "I thought you would like to go on a walk around the island?"

I didn't think I could handle a walk. Especially, not with Peter. "Does it look the same as it did thirty years ago?" It was like anything else. Once you've been there, it doesn't interest you as much.

He placed his hands behind his back and turned to me, smiling. "Maybe."

I shook my head and picked up my bag off the floor. I needed to do something relaxing. I touched my bathing suit in my bag. "I want to swim." I declared.

He walked over to me and curiously looked into my bag. "In the ocean?"

I held my bag closed. Secrets I couldn't reveal quite yet. I looked up at him and he gave me a guilty smile. "Do the mermaids still live there?" I asked.

"Yes." He nodded slowly as if it was impossible that they could not be there.

"Then no." I pulled out the bathing suit anyway. There were more places than the ocean to swim. "Let's go to the springs we always went to." We used to go to this natural spring that existed in middle of the island, hidden by thick brush. It was beautiful. Clear cerulean blue water that you could see right through. A large waterfall that I only jumped off once, it was a dare, and I was so scared I refused another go. It even led into a cave that had crystals still in the walls leaving rainbows to be reflected onto the walls. It was quiet. It was nice.

No one but us went.

"The one on the other side of the island?" He asked as if there were multiple. Which there were, but that was beside the point.

I nodded. "Yeah. Dual purpose. Shower and swimming." I shrugged. "And a walk around the island."

I leaned against the bed and looked at him for approval. He touched his chin, as he thought for a moment at my new proposition for the day. "With me or Felix?"

Peter always proposed that I had feelings for Felix. I don't think Peter understood that I was just good friends with Felix. I had the same relationship with him, except it was more intense with Peter. The unsaid romantic feelings that thinly lined our relationship. We both knew that. Well, I knew that.

I grinned and touched his shoulder playfully. "Oh, Peter, jealousy looks good on you." I removed my hand and zipped up my bag. He watched me with a small smile on his face and I nodded towards the door.

"Meet me in five minutes."

He nodded. "Okay."

* * *

**Spoiler Alert: the next chapter the pace is going to speed up a little. Things will happen. Actions will occur.****_ Romance will be in the air._**

**Thank You for reading! I appreciate it! Once again, sorry for the little break! It's been a rough week! Thanks for the follows, favorites, reviews, and being good people.**

**The next chapter will be up in the next day or two! This week I plan on knocking out a few chapters to make up for my neglect!**


	7. Chapter 7

**This is my second day of updates! I told ya'll I would make up for my lack of updates for the last week and a half! **

**I hope you enjoy it! **

**Thanks for the followers and reviews and the favorites I received since posting the last chapter! I appreciate it so much! If you haven't done any of it but are just reading to reading, I appreciate you too! :) **

**As always, critisim and such is valued! :) So are follows and favorites )**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Five minutes later, Peter and I were walking through the forest towards the springs. Before we went, he had told Felix our plans:

_"You two have fun." Felix responded and looked at me with a toothy grin. _

_He was clearly amused by this situation. _

_Peter pulled his canteen off a low branch of the tree Felix was leaning on. "Be cautious of the boys wanting to go through the forest. It's going to rain." Peter warned, seemingly oblivious of the look on Felix's face. _

_"Take your own warning?" Felix nodded. Peter always knew the weather on the island. He could predict it as well as change it if he wanted. There were no clouds in the sky, so I assume he'll change it to keep the lost boys contained. Although he wouldn't make it rain on the side of the island we were on. He didn't want to ruin our day but he had to still be in charge, even if he wasn't there._

_Peter raised an eyebrow as he lifted the strap of his canteen over his head and arm so it hung diagonally across his chest. "We will." _

_Peter looked at me to tie the conversation up and walked towards the forest. When he was out of earshot, (which, by the way, he never was. He knew everything.) Felix grabbed my arm. _

_When I looked up at him, his features had gone dark. This was his protective mode. "Wendy." He said my name as a warning. I looked down at his hand on my arm. This warning wasn't the first, nor the last I would get from him. _

_"I know, Felix." I nodded and touched his hand on my arm reassuringly. "I won't let it happen."_

_He exhaled visibly and frowned. He knew I wouldn't listen to my own words. We've been down this path. Every path I have taken on this trip, I have been down before. Memory lane was becoming a reoccurring theme here. Following Peter into the woods was no exception._

_"Be careful."_

_I gave him a smile. "I will."_

"I'd like to make it to the springs before dark." I called behind me to the lagging lost boy. Peter was walking at a slow pace, exaggerating movements that could take him milliseconds rather than the minutes it was taking.

"Can't you just enjoy the island?" He asked me. I imagined him twisting a rock or a twig in his hand, admiring the beauty of the little things. Things that he saw all of the time.

My dwindling patience was beginning to hit a low. I blamed him and the lack of sleep he caused.

"You haven't been here for, what, thirty years? Don't you want to take it all in?"

His perkiness made me stop suddenly and spin around. I was going to tell him to shut up and keep walking but Peter was closer than I thought. His body slammed into mine and I stumbled back from the impact and my foot slipped on a rock behind me. Before I realized I was falling, his arm reached out and caught me. He grinned as I looked up at his proud face. "I knew I could have you falling for me again." His eyebrows arched suggestively and I pushed his chest to get him to let me go. Instead, it seemed that he pulled me closer, tighter to him as I steadied myself on my two feet.

"You're so clever, Peter." I gave him a tight smile but I took advantage of our closeness and lifted the vial of pixie dust at his chest. I hadn't stumbled upon any besides my own supply from Hook. Peter had the island's supply at only his will. No one knew where he hid it.

He picked up the chain it was attached to at the base of his neck to pull it away from me. "Don't." He warned.

I rolled the vial between my fingers. I watched the glittered dust gently fall from one side of the glass to the other. "I need some." I tried my luck. It couldn't hurt.

He shook his head. "No you don't."

"Then walk faster." I dropped the vial and moved away from his grasp. He didn't need to know that I really did need it. And I would find it. Eventually. It was the only way to save them.

"Can't you enjoy life?" He called after me as I walked farther into the forest.

* * *

Before we emerged into the small clearing where the spring was hidden, I heard the soft slapping of the falling water hitting the surface of the river. I smiled to myself as I pushed through thick brush and found myself next to the large waterfall. The large rocks were scattered throughout the area, in the water, and outlining it messily. The water was still crystal clear, I saw the dark grey lining at the bottom. The trees swayed gently, rustling its neighbors as the air from the waterfall disturbed them. I could see some of the jewels in the cave behind the falling water, casting rainbows onto the walls and even the wall of water. It was beautiful.

"Everything you remembered?" Peter's voice was hot in my ear as I looked out to the landscape. I nodded, smiling more brightly before turning to him. He was gone. I looked around from where the voice came from. No one.

"I'm over here."

I looked up to find him standing opposite of me, on the other side of the water, looking at me with a smile. I had forgotten he could do that with his voice. Make it seem like he was right next you when he was really nowhere near you.

"Yes, it's everything I remember." I said quietly, knowing he could hear me. I placed my bag next to me on the grass and pulled out a large cloth that I had found in my room. Neverland didn't have towels, but they did have lots of scraps. Enough to make a makeshift sheet for things like this.

He nodded. "Good. I kept it for you."

I laughed. He must have something up his sleeve because he was being too charming. I could even go as far as to say, flirty. "Of course you did."

He raised his eyebrow at my disbelief. "I did. I was going to destroy it but had a small hope you would return."

I rolled my eyes and touched the bottom of my shirt. I was going to lift it above my head but I grew self-conscious. I felt Peter's eyes on mine and the feeling was confirmed as I looked up and Peter's eyes darted away from my hand.

"Don't look!" I called to him and I watched him turn his body fully away from mine. I don't know where the shyness came from. It wasn't like he hasn't seen me in my bathing suit before.

Well, not since I was fifteen.

I pulled my shirt over my head anyway and folded it neatly and placed it on top of my bag. I then pulled off my jeans in the same manner, folding them and stacking them on top of the shirt.

Without telling him, I walked over to the edge of the water and placed my foot into it.

"Why is it so cold?" I asked and he turned around. He allowed his eyes to skim my body before meeting my blushing face. I didn't know what he was thinking, his face was blank, but he bent over and touched the water. He then straightened out again and motioned towards the water.

I touched it again with my foot and noticed it was warmer now.

He changed the temperature.

"Thank you." I lowered myself to sit on the edge. I dipped my feet into the warmer liquid and smiled. The water here felt different then in the enchanted forest and Storybrooke. It was smoother, cleaner.

"Aren't you going to get in?" He asked me and my attention fell on him as he pulled off his shirt.

I felt the need to look away, like he did to me, but my eyes stayed trained on his lean body. He was muscular, even more so then thirty years ago. He looked older but still young. He was gorgeous.

_I needed to put my hormones in check._

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." He smirked at my gawking.

I blushed and tilted my head slightly. "I think you'll last longer." I winked and he raised his eyebrows in agreement. Even his cockiness had an eyebrow motion.

Suddenly, he jumped off the rock and fell gracefully into the water.

_I should have listened to Felix. _

"Gwendolyn." Peter called from twenty feet away near the waterfall. His hair glistened with water droplets. He waved me over. "Let's go!" He had his boyish smile plastered onto his face. He looked like a teenager that got to sneak out of the house for the time being.

I closed my eyes and gave a silent prayer to whomever was listening.

_Please, oh please, do not let me do something I will regret._

Then I dived into the water after him.

* * *

We swam for a long time.

We just continued to go back and forth, back and forth down the river and into the waterfall and back again. We got lost in the time. We just enjoyed each other's company although words were barely exchanged besides the random good natured insult. It reminded me of our past until the sun began to set and I made the crucial mistake of thinking I could jump off the waterfall.

I stood above the water, maybe twenty five feet up and looked down at Peter, waiting on the edge of the water.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He called up to me through his cupped hands.

I squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn't back down now! He had pretty much dared me to do it without so many words. He said '_You won't do it. I remember what happened last time you tried_.' That was a good enough reason to try it again.

I lifted my arms to either side of me as if I would fly away. Or I was being sacrificed.

I took a deep breath.

And I jumped.

Well, I would have liked to jump. Instead, I sort of tripped off the cliff and I tumbled down into the water.

My foot had slipped as I went to jump and I lost my footing. Falling had become somewhat of my thing since I had landed onto Neverland. I fell onto the island and no doubt I would continue to fall within it as well.

I fought the pounding of the waterfall as I tried to catch my breath. It was knocked out of me from the impact and I didn't seem to have enough energy to find my way to the surface.

Peter's arms circled me and pulled me to the surface and I wrapped my arms around his neck to keep my head above the water. I coughed away from his face, removing the water that snuck its way into my lungs. When I looked at him, concern was clearly written on his face as he held me so I stayed above the water.

"Don't even." I warned him because I knew the concern would leave his face and he would begin to laugh. Which he did.

Immediately, the concern cracked as he began biting his lip to keep from laughing and I put my hand over his mouth to get him to stop. I looked at him pointedly to stop him but he seemed determined to make me feel like an idiot. I waited patiently, the sun still setting slowly, as I waited for him to calm down. Eventually his face relaxed into a small smile. And I removed my hand and placed it on his chest to push him away but his hands tightened around my waist.

We stared at each other as my pulse began to quicken with each second. Like I said before, this was memory lane. We have been this close to our lips touching before. And I knew this time would be no different as he looked at my lips and I felt his heart beat begin to reflect my own.

"Peter." I whispered to him. Not as an invitation, but as a worry.

He began to lean into me. I thought of many different things in that moment. Should I kiss him? Should I just let him kiss me? Should I stop it? I didn't want to fall back into the same thing as my first time on the island. I had a mission now. That was my top priority. Not Peter.

I turned my head away from him. I couldn't allow myself to go down that road. I couldn't blame him either because I wanted it just as bad as him.

I could sense the hurt radiating out from him as his pulse steadied under my hand. I heard him swallow then silence.

As quick as this moment happened, it was over. His hands were no longer on me. His heart no longer beat against my palm. He was gone.

And I was alone.

Left with nothing but the water and the low setting sun around me.

_Then I felt the raindrops. _


	8. Chapter 8

**Third update in a row! I am so proud! **

**I am also so happy because you guys are awesome for following and commenting and you are all too sweet! :) **

**I have the next chapter basically written so that will be up tomorrow for your eyes to see so be prepared! **

**Thank you for reading, and ENJOY! :)**

* * *

When the sun finally allowed the moon to take its place in the sky, I found myself walking alone back to camp. It had been maybe an hour since Peter left me alone in the water and I didn't have any motivation to go after him. I wasn't sure what I would say to him. Hey, yeah I do still have feelings for you but I can't act on them because you know, you stole my brothers from me and I'm trying to get them back.

_Yeah, that would work._

I had the make shift towel wrapped around my cold body as I pushed leaves and branches from my way. The rain still lightly beat down through the trees and it was ice cold._ Like his heart_, I thought. As much as I didn't want to confront Peter, it wasn't safe to be in the forest at night. So, I tried my hardest to go quickly. But even as I went my fastest, the forest's hidden monsters came to play.

Without warning, I couldn't breathe. I coughed, clutching my throat as I tried to catch my breath. It was a lot like drowning except there wasn't a reason why I couldn't breathe. The air was still clear, not yet hazed by the moon. I stopped walking and fell to my knees gasping for breath. All I could manage was a second of air before chocking again. I was walking on the edge of unconsciousness. I could lean towards no air only to get enough to last me the moment.

"_Wendy_." A dark voice floated in my head. I looked into the sky praying it was my mind playing tricks on me. "_You still haven't learned_." The voice laughed menacingly.

I closed my eyes wishing it away. "Leave me alone!" I gritted through deep short breaths. Although the voice didn't reveal itself, I knew who it belonged to.

As quick as it was placed, the hold on my throat lifted.

The chocking sensation gone as I took a filling breath.

When I opened my eyes, a black fog was misted in front of me. It slowly formed into a person as I pushed my feet against the dirt under me trying to move backward.

_The island's shadow._

There were two shadows one would fear when coming to the island. Peter's and the island's. Peter's was used on command to do Peter's work. Find new lost boys, keep an eye on the outside world. The island's, however, was much darker. It killed shadows. And once a person's shadow was gone, the person wouldn't last much longer.

We had met before.

_It was cold that night. Colder than my other nights spent on the island. The air also held a thin trace of a feeling that made me uneasy. Something that scared me. _

_Death. _

_Peter had fallen asleep on my floor, me in my bed, until about halfway through the night when I was awoken by a large thud and a distant scream. _

_I jolted upright, breathing heavily into my dark room. _

_"Peter." I whispered towards the floor. _

_It was empty. _

_"Peter?" I said again, louder this time. Maybe he had caused the thud. _

_My pulse began racing as I was met with silence in return. The air was too still, too silent. _

_I pushed off my thick blanket and stepped out of bed against my better judgment. You were never supposed to leave the safety of your bed in times like these but I couldn't avoid the feeling that compelled me to see where Peter had gone._

_The floor creaked with the pressure of my feet as I walked towards the door. Why would he leave me? _

_This was before our unsaid agreement that we would share a bed. This is what brought us to that agreement._

_I opened the door slowly, praying that he would be on the other side. _

_But I was wrong. _

_A large black fog whisked in front of me causing me to fall back in surprise. _

_'Go home!' A voice whispered into my ear. I whipped my head to the noise but nothing was there. _

_'You are not safe!' It repeated, an urgency showed itself. 'He will take you for good! Trapped forever!' _

_I covered my head with my arms. "Leave me alone!" I yelled into the night. My yelling did nothing as the fog swarmed overhead._

_'He will steal your heart. It's the only way.' _

_I began frantically moving towards Peter's home. I stumbled on the miss matched wooden boards. The fog soared in front of me again, this time, knocking me onto my back. My eyes grew wide as the fog formed into a person and stood in front of his door._

_'Soon, you will see the consequence if you do not leave now.' _

_The voice sent chills down my spine and rose goose bumps on my arm. I had never seen such a thing. It reminded me of the shadow that brought my brothers and I here but it was different. This one was out of anger. Its messages of warning left me in confusion. It was all about my heart. Peter taking my heart._

_'Two hearts for yours.' It whispered. _

_"Leave me alone!" I moved onto my knees, crawling towards the shadow. I needed to get to Peter's door. He could scare it away. _

_'Say goodbye or you will forget everything.' _

_"Go away!" I screamed again._

_And it disappeared._

_I burst through his door and Peter jumped out of bed at the noise._

_"Wendy! What happened?"_

_"There was a scream and a shadow and it kept telling me to leave and-" My run on sentence continued to build as the tears in my eyes did as well. He didn't seem to know what to do besides pull me into his chest to muffle my tears. He moved his hand down my hair a few times as I calmed down. Whatever that thing was warning me of, it had to be wrong. Peter only wanted to protect me._

_He took a deep breath._

_"It's the island's shadow."_

**And here I was now.** The shadow floating above me. It was here to kill me. Just like the lost boy that screamed that night.

"_I told you all those years ago to leave_." The faceless form reminded me. "_You didn't listen_."

I shook my head and swallowed nervously. The stories I had heard about this shadow swarmed my mind. Terror. Fear. Death. "Peter told me about you."

The shadow seemed to laugh at this. "_Peter Pan says the things you want to hear_." The form touched down in front of me. I took a step away. The shadow was larger than it looked in the sky. It was more menacing on the ground.

I nodded. "He was afraid."

"_As he should be_." The shadow moved closer to me as I backed myself into a tree.

I squinted at the form. It looked just like it did years ago. "Whose shadow are you?"

The glowing eyes looked at me. "_All will be revealed in time_."

"You're not going to kill me?" I couldn't help but sigh in relief. I didn't have to see my life flash before my eyes again.

The shadow laughed. "_Don't be stupid, Wendy_." The way it said my name made my hair stand on end. When-dy. It was like a whisp. "_I did not come to kill a shadow_."

"What do you want?" I braced myself against the tree in case it wanted to change its mind.

"_To warn you_." The voice became slower the more words he used. "_Death is amongst them. You are in danger. Will not stop. Wants you dead._"

Dead? Danger? I haven't been there long enough to be in danger or to have death lurking around the corner.

"Who?" I asked the form as it neared me. I refused to look in its eyes.

"_Listen to my words. Consequences to your actions. Nothing is over until it is over_."

"Why are you doing this?" If it wanted to kill me, it could have just done it. Don't drag it on.

Its next words surprised me. "I need your help." It was inches away now and I could feel the ground quiver as it narrowed its face to me. "_Get. Me. Pan's. Heart._" It's voice boomed around us.

"Why would I?" My pulse raced again for the second time that night as the shadow touched my face.

"_You want your brothers. I want his heart_." The shadow tapped my chest, over my heart. "_He keeps his most valuable things there. You are a value_."

The shadow had to have my brothers. There was no other way. How could you offer me a trade and not have my part of the deal? "You have my brothers?"

"_No. Things of value stay in his heart_." It stepped away from me. "_Rip out his heart_." It whispered into the silence.

And the shadow was gone.

* * *

**"You left me in the middle of the island!"** I slapped Peter across the face with a hard hand.

I had rushed back to camp. The rain picked up from before, as it seemingly stopped when the shadow confronted me. It was quiet when I returned. The dark had encompassed the land for a while now. Everyone was asleep. I noticed Peter's light still on and I knew Peter wasn't. Instead, he was looking out his window thoughtfully and when I had reached him I touched his shoulder for him to turn around then my palm made contact with his face.

"Excuse me?" He growled attaching his hand to my wrist mid-air. His cheek was bright red from impact. "Do not touch me." It was the first time he has ever told me to keep my hands off. It hurt.

I ripped my wrist away and my voice raised an octave. "You left me in the middle of the most dangerous forest on the island. Can you even fathom what I just dealt with?" I gritted my teeth at him in anger.

"A paper cut?" He raised his eyebrow mockingly.

In that moment, I believed convincing myself to rip out his heart would not be too hard.

I shook my head in disgust. "I almost had my shadow killed because of you."

His face and act dropped with my words. He believed that the shadow had long abandoned the island. Ever since my first encounter, it had not been seen again. But, he thought I was overreacting until he knew this. "Wendy." He said quietly with shame lining it.

"It's fine." I breathed. "I handled it." I turned around and left out the door walking shakily back to my own house. I wanted this night to be over. What seemed like a pleasant day had turned into my own nightmare coming true.

And it wasn't over.

Because when I opened the door to my house, _it was not fine_.


	9. Chapter 9

**As always, THANK YOU SO MUCH for following, favoriting, reviewing, and being awesome people. It really makes my day to get one of those emails that one of you did any of them. I appreciate it so much! **

**This is the fourth update this week! Ah. Crazy! **

**(Sorry this is also on the short side :/ I'll update again after Thanksgiving!)**

**Enjoy the holiday for those who participate!**

**Okay! Let's go!**

* * *

_All I saw was red._

_Red on the floor._

_Red on the ceiling._

_Red on the walls._

It was as if someone opened a can of those joke worms that popped out of the container but instead of plastic worms, it was blood.

I screamed and fell to my knees.

My room was destroyed. My belongings, both that I brought from home and stuff that was here since my first visit were scattered everywhere. My clothes were ripped and my bed thrown against the wall in disarray. But the things that were broken didn't bother me. It was the fact that whoever did this threw blood on everything it destroyed. The walls were dripping with blood. My items were soaked. Everything was drenched red. Then I noticed my sword I had taken back from Peter was stabbed into the wall, below a message was carved.

This isn't over.

I began dry heaving as the stench hit my nose. I felt the air behind my vulnerable state move and Peter's arms wrapped around my shoulders as he pulled me into his chest. I crumpled into him as tears began to fall from my eyes. My home was destroyed. Peter lifted me to my feet and he walked us away from the door and out onto the bridge. "It's okay." He murmured into my hair. Tears burned my eyes as they soaked into his jacket. Who would have done this? I haven't even been here for forty eight hours and this is what the torture starts with? "Come on. It'll be cleaned up." His reassurance fell on deaf ears as he pulled me across the bridge into his room. He sat me on the bed and kneeled in front of me.

"Is everything okay?" Felix voice boomed through the room as he opened the door with two other lost boys behind him.

Peter turned his head without looking at them. "Go into her room. Salvage anything possible." He ordered quietly. Felix's concern showed on his face. I looked at him under my heavy eyelids. Felix frowned at my sight and followed the other boys through the door to the bridge. I had never felt weaker mentally. I had never had my walls knocked down so brutally before.

I put my head in my hands and cried harder as Peter whispered salvation into my ear. "Wendy, I will find out who did this and they will pay. I'll get back everything you lost." He touched my wrists gently. It amazed me how only a few minutes ago, I was ready to kill him and now I didn't want him to leave me.

Where did my strength go?

"Peter." Felix said gently from the door. I looked up at him and his face reflected my fears. Nothing was left.

Peter squeezed my knee before joining Felix on the bridge. They tried to talk in hushed tones but my own silence allowed me to hear his confirmation of the known. "Nothing is salvageable. Things that look untouched have blood in them. Clothes in the drawers were stacked on top of vats of blood."

All my stuff. My memories. My life. Gone.

"Whose blood?" Peter asked. Tears built in my eyes. What if it was a lost boy's blood? Or another person? Some died to get a sick rise out of me.

Felix responded quickly. "Pig's. I assume from our dinner tonight."

I sighed in relief. I couldn't have this death on my mind.

"I want all of them outside, now." Peter gritted his teeth angrily. "If any single one of them refuses, they are done."

I assumed Felix nodded as he changed the subject to me. "Is she okay?" Felix asked.

Peter paused. "No." I heard his voice lower. "If she doesn't want to stay with me, she's staying with you."

"Of course."

Peter walked back into his home and sat next to me on the bed. I leaned my body into his and he smoothed my hair. I heard Felix perform some call that is used in waking up the boys. He needed them all up.

* * *

"Which one you thought it would be so funny as to tear Wendy's room to pieces?" Peter's voice cut through the crowd like a knife. I couldn't see him from my view at his window, but I could see the lost boys' and it was looks of fear. "Too pour blood all over that room?"

No one answered.

"No takers? None of you know what happened? Who did it?" He asked them menacingly. He groaned and I watched the first row of boys take a step back from him. What did he do? "If any of you have any information, I will grant you safety and freedom. This deal will only last for one hour. If any of you are caught with knowledge or even speculation about it, you will not be granted freedom nor safety. Instead, you will be begging for death."

I watched the boys nod at this and glance at one another. Someone had to know. My eyes couldn't help but wander towards Cameron. He stood there with his lips in a tight line. His eyes were focused on Peter. I couldn't help but get a negative feeling when I looked at him. He seemed like he held a secret.

His eyes flickered towards mine and he smirked subtly at me.

I looked away disgusted. It was him. It had to be. The shadow's warning ran through my head. It is not over until it is over. I started with him, from my arrival. And he wanted revenge.

"Go on about your sleep." Peter told them and Cameron turned back his attention to him. "The hour begins now. If any of you have information, I highly recommend you say something."

The boys nodded again and the crowd dissipated. I watched some give each other looks of confusion and fear and some just looked to the ground as they walked back towards their houses. Cameron looked up at me and gave me another smirk before disappearing amongst the crowd.

It was him.

When Peter rejoined me in his home moments later, I told him my suspicions.

"I believe it to be him as well." Peter told me as he looked out the window deep in thought. I don't think he knew one of the boys was capable of this. He didn't anticipate it.

"What are you going to do?"

"Ask." He said simply as if just asking would answer all of our questions. Asking didn't get you anywhere. But I knew Peter more than to think we only be asking if Cameron had done it.

"When?"

"Tomorrow."

* * *

An hour later, no one had come to talk to Peter. Peter was pacing the floor in front of me. It was something he did when he was nervous. I, on the other hand, was growing tired with each lap of the floor and laid down in his bed. I wanted to end this horrid day and start again. I couldn't do that by staying awake.

"Peter, no one is going to talk."

He heard him stop pacing and I opened my eyes to him looking at me. He was no doubt wondering why I wasn't more worried about the situation. He should know more than anyone that worrying now would not do anything. All it would do is make me angry. Whoever is responsible would get what's due to them. Whether it be at my hand or someone else's. It would happen.

But not tonight.

"How does no one know?" He asked me in a defeated tone. "How did I let it get past me?"

I shrugged. "Maybe your mind was preoccupied wondering if I died or not." I gave him an agitated smile. "Maybe they're scared?" I suggested and patted the bed next to me. "Sleep it off." Although Peter needed sleep, he didn't even have to go to sleep. I just wanted the light to turn off so I could sleep.

He groaned, like a little boy being told to take a nap, and he blew out the torch lighting the room.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Peter." I whispered to him.

It was dark in the room. I could see the moon outside of the window from where I laid. Peter was breathing softly next to me. He couldn't sleep either.

"For what?" He turned his face towards mine. This was the Peter I remembered. The kind, teenage boy Peter. The one who was willing to listen. The one who looked his best when sleep was laced in his eyes. Hair slightly messy. A kind smile threatening his lips at any moment.

"For coming back." I responded quietly.

He touched my hand at my side. "Don't be." He gave me a warm half-smile. "I missed you."

I continued despite his answer. "For being a girl."

He laughed. "I think that's what I like best about you."

"For not kissing you."

"I should be apologizing." He seemed sincere with this. "I shouldn't have tried anything. I was being-."

I interrupted him. "For killing you."

"What?" He laughed again.

Before his smile could even fade, I shoved my hand through his chest and grabbed ahold of his heart.

"Wendy." He gasped in his last breath.

His face showed the pain of my act. Mentally and physically. He was deceived twice in the same night. Once, by the unknown person who destroyed my room and me, the girl who killed him.

I leaned into his ear. "I'm sorry." I pulled his heart free before his body became limp against the bed. The beautiful boy who never grew up. I kissed his forehead and moved away from him.

Standing, I examined the prized possession.

Black as stone, with little red cracks all around it.

_Love shining through. _


	10. Chapter 10

**You guys seriously made my day after the last chapter! So much speculation! I know I left y'all on a cliff hanger/tense point but I can't help myself! :) the drama of it all is too good to pass up! **

**Have a good Thanksgiving! I wasn't going to update but I felt bad leaving it the way I did. **

**Have a wonderful day!**

**(Thank you for the wonderful comments some made me laugh allowed they were so great!)**

* * *

I remember the last time I slept in his bed. It was the last night of my first trip. I should have known the end was near. Peter wasn't speaking to me, not even a "good morning" when he saw me wake up. No usual: "did you sleep well? Did you dream?" It was as if I didn't exist any longer. Even the other lost boys, except Felix, said no more than a few words combined.

I was the outcast.

My brothers spoke to me as usual. They're interest in my life had fallen low at that point. There were too many boys around to be concerned with their sister. That is, until Michael got hurt and he requested I kiss his bruised skin because it made him feel better. This happened a few times a week.

The rest of the day held me on radio silence. During the day's activities, no one gave me a second glance. During supper, no one asked for a story.

_It was lonely._

That night, Peter had come to bed late, not saying a word, and laid as far away as possible without being on the floor. He kept his angled away from mine, the only part of his head I could see besides his hair was his ear.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked his back.

He didn't answer.

"Peter, tell me what I did wrong!" I poked the back of his shoulder and he flinched before speaking.

"You didn't do anything. I think I'm catching a cold and I don't want you to get it." His lie went in one ear and out the other. The lost boys didn't get sick. Illness didn't exist on Neverland. Especially for Peter.

But I accepted his lie with a quiet 'okay' before turning my back on him with tears in my eyes.

I cried softly into my arm. I tried to stay as quiet as possible so he thought I wasn't bothered by his lying. But he heard me.

"Wendy." He said into the quiet.

And I left him with radio silence in return.

When I woke the next day, I was alone. Peter had already left me to start his day. That was when I realized I had done something wrong. Peter was always in the room when I woke up. Even the day before when the silent treatment started, he was there when I woke up. Sometimes he'd be in there talking to lost boys as I slept so he wouldn't have to leave wanted to make sure I knew he was that day, he wasn't.

I stood up, weary about the day, and moved to the chest in the corner that held some of my things.

It was empty.

None of my belongings were stowed away. I looked around the room, nothing but Peter's normal items were there.

I peered into the chest again to make sure I wasn't seeing things and a blue rose was at the bottom. I picked up the delicate steam and let my finger gently touch the petals. Blue roses didn't exist in my land. They were modified to look this way. But here, they grew this color.

I placed it on the bed and went in search of Peter. He had to know where my belongings were. He made sure no one else took them, so he had to have had a hand in this.

When I went outside, it was quiet. Too quiet. All I could hear was the wind whistling quietly in the morning air. Where normally the boys would be playing or eating or making some noise, there was no one. Maybe they had left?

No, the fire was still roaring a few feet away.

I climbed down the rope ladder and looked around. No trace of anyone. Even the footprints seemed to have disappeared.

As I moved around the fire, a heard rustling of the trees. Turning, a few lost boys came out of the trees, arrows and spears in hand. Pointed at me. "What are you doing?" I asked them. No one had pulled a weapon on me since the first day, and even then, it was a mistake.

They all stayed silent as more boys came from the brush forming a circle around me. They were capturing me.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked Peter as I saw him emerge into the circle with me. He wore no smile, no happiness in his face.

"Your time in Neverland is up." He said simply.

"My time?"

He nodded. "You have to go."

My pulse began racing as confusion took over my mind. "You said the other day you were happy I was here!"

He shrugged, disconnected from me. "I say things." "You lied to me?" I was genuinely hurt by the lie. One thing I thought he would never do is lie to me and now he's done it too many times to count.

"I did not lie."

"You _did not_ keep your word!" I shouted at his calmness. He just stood there, ten feet away and looked disgusted to even glance at me as if I came from the pits of hell.

He glanced at a lost boy next to him and motioned to me. The lost boy pulled my bag from behind him and threw it at my feet. "Your belongings." Peter said coldly.  
I looked down at my bag, crumpled and dirty now from the mud it landed in. He didn't care. Not even enough decency to hand me my bag. I tried to hold back my tears. I was tired of crying. But the dam I built wasn't strong enough. "What is wrong with you?"

Peter raised and lowered his eyebrows in a smooth motion as if he had thought about this question before. "There is no room for a girl on Neverland."

"Why because you felt something for me for the first time in god knows how many years?"

He shook his head. "I feel nothing towards you."

_Lie, lie, lie._

"You're lying."

He shrugged. "I told you I wouldn't lie to you."

Tears were falling down my cheek now. "You disgust me." I spat at him before reaching to pick up my bag.

Like magic, our surroundings changed so only I and he stood on the beach. A fire blazed wildly next to us.

"Where are my brothers, Peter? They're coming with me."

He shook his head. "No they aren't."

I nodded growing angrier. He had no right to keep them. "Give me my brothers, Peter!" I raised my voice against him. I wished I had a weapon to threaten him. All my good feelings were gone.

"That's not a part of my plan."

"And sending me away is?"

He looked down and then into my eyes for the first time. "You are going to ruin the plan." He said harshly.

"What plan?" I did not know what he was speaking of.

"The plan that will save me."

I shook my head. "I won't ruin the plans!"

He nodded. "It's destined."

"Peter, don't. Let me see my brothers." I pleaded desperately. They were my only family.

Peter shook his head. "This won't hurt you."

He lifted his hand to me. I fell to my knees begging him to let me see my brothers. "They need me! John! Michael! They need me!" I cried harder and harder and Peter looked away from me.

He didn't like it when I cried.

"The only thing that will hurt are the memories." He said. "I'm too selfish to take them away."

I looked down at my hands. They were red from gripping each other in desperation.

When I looked back up. I noticed the fire blazing next to me and a castle in the distance.

* * *

I gasped awake, unable to breathe. I was leaning on Peter, my hand pushing against his chest above his heart. It felt like I had been trying to push through his chest. Which in my dream, I had.

"Wendy, are you okay?" He looked at me with wide eyes and put his hand over mine. He rubbed his thumb against the back of my palm.

I_t was just a dream. _

_I never pulled out his heart. _

I swallowed and tried to slow my heart and breath. It was just a dream.

"Wendy?" Peter asked again.

I pulled my hand away from his chest and cradled it against my own. "I'm fine." I murmured. I wondered if he knew what I was doing. Why I was on top of him trying to shove my hand through his chest.

I moved away from him back to my side of the bed. Peter watched me cautiously. "You were getting a little aggressive."

I pushed my hair from my face. "I'm sorry. It was a bad dream."

"I try to accommodate you by allowing you to sleep in my room to avoid the dreams and here you are, nightmare filled and seemingly trying to kill me."

I gasped and looked at him. "I had a dream about seeing your heart." I tried swaying him away from me. "Maybe I was trying to see it?"

He raised his eyebrows in the darkness. "Maybe one day,"

"Not today."

"No, not today." He agreed before closing his eyes.

He looked peaceful again. Unaware of the danger that he welcomed into his bed.

I contemplated going to find Felix. Maybe sleeping in his room could allow me the break to not kill Peter. I still needed him, I think. I couldn't listen to the shadow. It must have been all the blood in my room. The visions my mind created as well as the was a deadly mix.

Although I thought about it, I sank back into his mattress and watched Peter breathed for a little bit. Timing his breaths made it easier for me to fall back into my own slumber.

This time, heart free.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hope you all enjoy this chapter! It's mostly dialogue :/ I feel like it's a filler chapter but it needs to be written because I don't want a major plot hole!**

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**Keep them coming! **

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**Anyway, Thank You!**

* * *

The next day, Peter confronted Cameron. It was less eventful than I had hoped. Cameron knew how to play the game.

"Did you destroy Wendy's room?"

Peter asked nicer than I thought. That was his game. Play nice until it didn't work.

"No." Cameron responded and leaned back in the wooden chair.

Cameron, Peter, Felix, and I all stood in the cave that I confronted Peter in on the first day of this trip. The cave served as an office of sorts. It was where Peter discussed all matters with lost boys or Felix, plotted moves, or anything else. Anything that wasn't personal. Except this.

Today, and any day the subject matter got touchy, Peter placed a spell over the cave where no sound could be heard on the outside, nor could anyone enter without being taken in by Peter himself. I leaned against the rock wall about ten feet away staring at Cameron for any indication of lying. Felix was standing behind his chair doing much the same except looking for a weapon.

Peter trusted the boys enough that they wouldn't pull out a weapon but he couldn't be sure.

"Do you know who did?" Peter looked expectantly at him as he walked around to the side of Cameron. "You're counted high for some of the boys. You must know something."

Cameron shrugged but kept his eyes on his hands that were placed on the table. "All I know is I did not do it."

Peter placed a hand on the back of Cameron's chair leaned in close to him. "Tell me what you know." He said each word like it burned him.

Cameron looked up and found my eyes. He had a smug glint to his eyes and it showed in the slight raise of his lip. I wanted to look away but I didn't want to act like he scared me.

"I don't know anything." He continued to stare at me.

"You do know, if I were to find out, that person is going to be very regretful very fast."

"I'm not going to be regretful then."

"Is this a joke to you?" Peter was growing angrier with every second. He pushed Cameron's chair into the table so Cameron was forced to sit up. I watched Cameron's discomfort as he gritted his teeth. Good.

"Come on, Peter! Your girlfriend shows up and a day later, someone blood bathes her house?" Cameron watched Peter move to the other side of the table. "Sounds like she just wanted attention."

"So she did it to herself?" Peter asked as if such a simple could really be the answer. As if Peter was stupid.

Cameron shrugged again and looked away as a form of yes and Peter turned his head to me.

"Wendy." He beckoned. "Please join us."

I lifted myself from my stance against the wall and walked to the table. Cameron's smug look returned to eyes and lips and Peter looked up at my face. "Was this all a call for attention?"

He was asking me to prove a point, to Cameron.

"Why, yes. I think I did?" I acted like I just remembered. "I crave the attention. And don't really care about any of my stuff so that got mixed in as well."

"Peter." Cameron interrupted me.

"Wait." Peter held up a hand to him without turning away from me. "Continue, Wendy."

"I also got blood from the pig we were eating yesterday night because, of course, I managed to get from the opposite side of the island, and back, in just enough time to do that to my room."

"Pixie dust."

"Is this your accusation?" Felix spoke for the first time since we stepped foot in the cave. I almost forgot his presence besides his large looming stature.

Peter turned to him to hear his response. Cameron turned his head to look at Felix from his peripheral vision and then back to Peter and I. He looked up at me again and gave me fuming eyes. "No."

"No?" Felix confirmed. "So, if you don't know who done it, you're entertaining us with false stories instead of just moving forward?"

"You asked." Cameron retorted with attitude.

Felix was suddenly grabbing him by the shoulders and gripping him tightly. "You are overstepping your bounds right now."

Cameron pushed his chair away from the table and twisted his way out of Felix's grip. "You are overstepping your bounds." He pushed Felix and I watched Peter roll his eyes.

I looked at Felix in time to see him do the same and step back from Cameron.

"Where were you from sun up to dark yesterday?" Peter asked disinterested in the answer.

Cameron glared at Felix. "I was out looking for berries on the west side of the island."

"With?"

"Jacob, Zachary, and George." Cameron looked at Peter and I. He was fed up with answering questions. He looked like he was going to ask for a lawyer.

"All very determined boys."

"That's why I like them on my routes."

Peter contemplated this and then motioned towards the front of the cave. "Go do whatever is your task today."

Peter dismissed him.

"Thank you." Cameron said distaste-fully and gave me want seemed like a warning look. "Thank _you_." He said smugly towards me.

I raised my fist and socked him right in the eye.

"What the hell?!" He cradled his eye and looked at me. "What is wrong with you?"

"Goodbye! Thank you for being so cooperative." I gave him a fake smile and motioned towards the door. "My fist will be punch ready again in another five minutes if you want to come back then."

"You are a-"

"Cameron!" Peter said calmly as Felix yelled his name simultaneously.

Peter pushed him towards the edge of the cave. "You are one word from being banned from the island. Leave."

And with an angry look directed towards me, he did.

* * *

Jacob, Zachary, and George were a bust. None of the boys knew anything about Cameron's destruction and if they did, he told them exactly how to conceal their knowledge.

By the end of the day, Peter was still trying to figure out how someone managed to destroy my room without notice. I continued to tell him that simply no one was paying attention.

"They were distracted by their own tasks." I'd say and Peter would all but ignore me.

We were both standing in my room, now half as bloodied and fully destroyed. Peter had some of the boys, mainly Cameron and his crew, clean some of the blood off the walls and floor. My belongings stayed in a pile in the corner.

Peter nodded reluctantly and picked up one of my shirts off the ground. It was filled with holes and had splatters of blood on it. "You need clothes."

I raised an eyebrow at the obvious. "That would be nice."

"I'll have Felix go into one of the towns and get you some." He dropped the shirt and it fell in a pile on the ground.

I shook my head as I stepped towards my overturned dresser. "I want to go to Storybrooke and get new ones." I opened the top drawer and released it from the frame. When I first got to Neverland, I quickly realized I needed a hiding place and this was it. I lifted a latch at the bottom on the drawer and a small door popped open.

Peter stood over me, watching me curiously. I pulled out a larger glass vial and smiled to myself.

_Pixie dust._

"If they were looking for that, they definitely didn't find it." He said, impressed. "How long has that been in there?"

"A very long time." I tucked it away into my backpack by my side. Luckily, I had my bag on me at the springs or it would have also been collateral.

"So, about the clothes?" I stood up and Peter looked down at me with a raised eyebrow. He was only a few inches away and I could tell he felt what I was feeling.

He shook his head. "No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Peter."

"Gwendolyn."

"Please?"

"No."

"Peter Pan! I will be back with an hour!" I said in a huff. I didn't want Felix to pick my clothes. I wanted to. And by going to Storybrooke, I could tell Red and Granny I was okay.

He shook his head again at my begging. "Gwendolyn Darling!" He mocked me. "I will not allow you to leave the island."

"Peter." I frowned a little and let my eyes grow wider. "Please."

His straight lined lips curved into an amused smile. "Thirty years has cured me of this." He touched my bottom lip with his thumb. His touch made my face warm and turn pink. His eyes moved to my lips as if he wanted to kiss me, and I would have let him this time. But he dropped his hand as soon as I began to hope he wouldn't let it leave my skin.

"Please." I said slower and touched his arm softly. "Just an hour." He was right. This trick used to get me a lot and now it seemed to just make me look slutty. I don't think he knew what slutty even was. I did, however, and it was not good.

"No." His amused smile lit up more and I gave him a real frown as I picked up my bag.

"Fine." I put the strap on my shoulder. "Don't be mad when I steal your clothes because I don't like the ones Felix brings."

He raised his eyebrows suggestively. "You can wear my clothes. I can share." His eyes skimmed my body. "Or you can just wear no clothes."

"Peter!" I whacked his arm hard.

"Jeez, Wendy!" He touched his now reddened arm.

"Whatever!" I turned away and walked towards the door. I didn't have anything in this room left hidden that I could remember. It didn't look my room, didn't feel like my room. It was just a room.

And Peter was just a boy and I was just a girl and that meant he needs to listen to me. "Goodnight." I said before opening the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To find an empty bed." I said simply. It was obvious I wasn't planning on staying with him. I needed him to get a taste of life without me, even if it's only been a couple of days with me. I needed to get leverage on him.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm going to see if some of the other boys wouldn't mind a roommate." I needed to fight his reluctance with my determination. This was a way to get what I want.

"What?"

"Maybe Felix wouldn't mind a roommate." I shrugged innocently. As much as Peter truly loved Felix as a brother, I was smart enough to know whenever I got involved that Felix crossed into enemy territory. Of course, Peter would never do anything rash, but he would create a hostile environment.

"Wendy." He said calmly. The growing distaste began to show. He'd rather I stay with him.

I let my lips relax into a line. "He'd let me go get my own clothes."

"I'm sure he would." Peter was already mad. I tried to not smile to myself as I watched him turn away from me.

"Goodnight, then."

"Goodnight."

I left without him saying another word and when I knocked on Felix's door, he smiled when he answered. "And what can I do for the Princess of Neverland?" He opened the door wider, inviting me in.

His house looked much like mine or Peter's. A bed was pushed to the wall, however his was coming out of the wall allowing you to get on either side, he had a few shelves full of little trinkets and a dresser on the opposite side of his bed. It was simple.

"I need to stay here until tomorrow."

"Just a one night thing?" A smile cracked on my lips as I understood his double meaning.

Felix and I have never been romantic. We both knew this. We both knew that some part of my heart belonged to

Peter no matter how hard I tried to deny it. I wasn't oblivious either and I knew Felix felt something for me but on my end, it was nothing more than a friendship. I loved him like I loved my brothers. He was a good person and I hated not feeling something for him.

I nodded at his suggestion. "I'm trying to get Peter to let me go to Storybrooke to get new clothes."

Felix laughed at my plan, he thought I was crazy, and said yes. "You are going to get yourself kicked out again."

I shrugged and put my bag down by his dresser. "If it gets me home to get more clothes, I'll take it."

"You'll come back?"

"Of course." I nodded. "I need to find out about my brothers." I lowered my voice.

"Here I was thinking you were trying to get back with Peter."

"No." I shook my head. I wasn't. Was i? "I can't."

He shrugged and lifted the covers to slide underneath them. "That's a lie you tell yourself so you don't get hurt.

"No."

"Wendy. It's been a long time."

"Did he talk about me when I was gone?" I got in his bed on the other side.

He nodded. "A lot. When he first sent you, he was incredibly distracted. He asked me multiple times if it should have happened and I thought you left so I said if it was what she wanted. It wasn't."

"Oh."

"Through the years, he would occasionally bring you up, but it cooled down. That is, until Henry came." Felix placed his arm behind his head. "When that happened, it renewed hope within him. He hoped you had not grown older. Maybe the same age. Then hook said you weren't there. That started the search for Wendy."

"Search for me?"

He nodded. "He became motivated to find you. Like it was his last chance. He needed you. Needs you."

"He never said that."

"He doesn't say a lot of things."

"I don't know."

"Give him a chance." He nudged me. "Your only seventeen once."

I laughed aloud and nodded in agreement. "If he lets me get that close."

"He will."

I nodded. "Maybe."

"He's waited a long time for you,"

"And he can keep waiting."

Felix shrugged. "I guess he can."

With that, I closed my eyes and drifted into my dream filled sleep. All which consisted of Peter.


	12. Chapter 12

That night, I dreamt of the reason why Peter was so cold.

_Millie._

It was when he was mortal. He was at the age he would be stuck at forever. His village had just been victorious in a land war of another group. The neighboring group had been harvesting crops and taking cattle that wasn't from their own land and it was hurting Peter's village's income.

"Peter!" His mother exclaimed as she pulled him into her arms.

Peter, along with around twenty others, had been amongst those who had to go fight for the land.

"Don't leave me! Ever again! You hear?" She kissed his cheek, squeezing him tightly. He smiled and squeezed her back. He never planned to leave again. Their little village had been all he knew and all he ever needed and would continue to be that way forever.

She pulled away reluctantly and held him at an arm's length. "You are getting so old. So mature."

"I am in my seventeenth year." He reminded her.

She nodded. "I know, I know." She touched his cheek. "My son."

Peter blushed. His mother always had a way of embarrassing him. Everyone grew up. She watched other's children do it, even the royal children do it. But Peter was different. He was her baby. Her only baby. Where everyone else had multiple kids, Peter was an only child and it was a struggle to have him. His mother almost passed during his birth and his father didn't want to risk it again.

"Peter." A feminine voice made Peter leave his own head and look away from his mother. His smile widened as he saw the owner.

"Millie." Peter replied, excitement lining his voice. She was easily the prettiest girl in their village. She had long blonde hair that often found itself in braids or a halo around her head. She had pale skin that turned rose if she became embarrassed. Green eyes that acted like a window to her soul. A smile that showed her one crooked tooth which you think would take away from her, but it only added to her beauty. It made her seem real. That one flaw.

"Peter." She said again as his mother smiled and released him. She knew how Peter felt about her and she had hoped he would soon act on his feelings. Peter looked at his mother for permission and she nodded silently. She wanted him to find someone close to home and Millie was it.

**Oh how long it's been!**

**I'm sorry! Finals has consumed my mind and I really haven't been writing the way I want. I keep thinking of eight different ways that this chapter can go and I finally chose one so here it is! **

**I think I am going to do another one of those, chapter a day things for a few days starting on Sunday! That will be a nice Christmas present to you from me ;)**

**And OF COURSE I have to write a Christmas chapter! Something fun! **

**Anyway, thank you for reading! **

**I appreciate it :)**

**(And ugghhh really quick! Stupid OUAT! I hate Peter in Henry's body like the concept but I really like Robbie so I want him to stick around :( Too bad I heard it's not too much longer for the fellow. Spoiler alert. lol) **

* * *

He turned to Millie and she took advantage of his empty arms and filled them with herself. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him tight. "I missed you so much." She said into his ear.

"I missed you." He touched her hair that today, lay freely in soft waves.

"Forget about the land and stay home next time." She released him and took hold of his hands. "I don't know what I would do if I lost you." She looked up at him in with shining eyes. She was like a small child that was speaking of a small animal.

He frowned at the thought of leaving her. "Me neither."

She smiled and smoothed her dress. It was new.

"It's pretty." He noted. She'd like it if he complimented her.

It was long, like all the others, and looked like it was made of finer silk. Which was odd for a peasant. They couldn't afford such nice fabric. Maybe it was of the cheaper silk his mother would sometimes bring home.

"Thank you." She curtseyed. "My mother and father brought it home. They practically _demanded_ I wear it today."

He raised an eyebrow. "Odd."

She shrugged. "I think a guest is coming." She felt the fabric between her fingers. It was so rich; she didn't know how they afforded it. "Regardless, it's beautiful."

Peter nodded. "It is."

"Do you want to take a walk?" She bit her lip and swayed her dress in the direction of the forest.

"After you," Peter raised his arm in offering and she wrapped her petite hand around it.

After walking for a while, Millie broke the silence. "Peter," Millie leaned into Peter's ear as they traveled farther on the path through the forest. She wanted to get away from prying eyes and listening minds. "Catch me." She said as she ran away from him.

Stunned, he watched her run off the path into the dark forest. She knew one thing he could not resist was a game, especially in the trees he knew so well.

He smiled deviously to himself before chasing the path she created.

"Come out, come out wherever you are!" He chanted into the quiet woods. All he could here was the occasional crack of a twig or footsteps of an animal. Nothing that sounded like her.

He knew better than to stay at eye level. Millie had a way of bending the rules in her favor.

So, Peter looked up. A few yards away, he saw the fine silk hanging from a tall tree.

He picked up a twig and lazily walked towards it. "Got yah." He called up to her and she jumped in surprise.

"Peter! You scared me! You always sneak up like that!" She swung her feet over the branch and looked down at him. "Hasn't your mother taught you better?"

He snapped the twig in his hands and raised an eyebrow. "Hasn't your mother taught you cheaters never win?"

Millie rolled her eyes. She didn't like when people caught her in her acts. "Turn around so I can get down."

Peter turned around to appease her. She didn't want him looking up her dress but why would he? He was taught more manners then that.

He heard a thump as she landed on the ground. "Okay." She said softly.

He turned around and suddenly pushed up against the trunk of a nearby tree.

She was holding him in place, her eyes wild, ideas flying by rapidly like seconds of the day.

"What are you doing?" His breathing began to quicken. "Not that I'm complaining." A grin graced his lips. He liked this predicament.

"When are you going to kiss me?" She leaned in closer to him. "I have given you plenty of opportunities." He could feel her warm breath on his neck. "Yet you haven't taken them."

He filled the space between them then and it took her by surprise as she stumbled back. Instinctively, he snaked his arm around her back and pulled her closer.

She sighed into his mouth.

* * *

_"Felix."_

I felt the bed move next to me and I opened my eyes. A blurry outline of someone stood near the door.

I groaned as I lifted myself onto my elbows and noticed Felix moving towards the figure I now recognized.

_Peter. _

"Gwendolyn." He said with no amusement in his voice.

I rolled my eyes. "Peter."

"Rough night?" Peter gave me a twisted smirk.

Felix tied his cloak around his shoulders. The rain hasn't let up nor did Peter let it. "Leave her alone." Felix warned him.

Peter raised an eyebrow to this. "Excuse me?"

"She needed somewhere to sleep, that's all we did." Felix picked up his club leaning against the wall.

"One night with her and your attitude is already in the ground."

Felix leaned into Peter. Felix had been here too long to be threatened by Peter. "I was perfectly happy with her sleeping right next to me. So close in fact that I felt her heart beat next to mine like they were made for each other."

My jaw almost fell open. Felix had never suggested anything like this let alone actually say them, to Peter.

"Are you done?" Peter tilted his head, a sure sign that he was almost to his breaking point.

Felix thought for a moment before nodding and swinging the club to rest against his shoulder. "I think I am." Felix gave a satisfied smile to Peter before giving me a nod. With that, he opened the door and moved swiftly into the pouring rain.

The door slammed shut behind him and I looked at Peter in shock of what happened.

"Saw an opportunity and took it." Peter raised an eyebrow to me and my expression fell into a look of disgust. He wasn't referencing himself.

I sat up fully and stared at him. He looked like he was the one that had the rough night. Darkness had once again found its way underneath his eyes and his disheveled hair set him off. Something kept him up all night and made him this grump of a mess and I took slight joy knowing that it was because of me.

At least I thought it was because of me.

"He gave me somewhere to stay."

This wasn't the smartest thing I could say. "I gave you somewhere to stay!" His voice amplified with anger. He pointed accusingly at me. "You left."

I wrapped my long brown hair into a ponytail ignoring him.

"You are so set on your way." He blamed.

"Because I want new clothes? Because I want to buy my own clothes?" This was ridiculous. He was mad because I wanted to purchase my own clothing.

"Yes!"

I stood up and smoothed the blanket out on the bed. Peter was so stubborn. It was a trait I did not enjoy. He was so stubborn and defensive about things that weren't even important. Like getting clothes or sleeping in Felix's bed. He acted like we got married or worse, slept together in a night of steamy passion. This was all a waste of time.

I pulled on my boots, my last surviving pair, and my coat, also the last one. "If you want me to stay in these clothes, fine." I stepped up to him. "Don't expect my cooperation with anything if you can't with this simple thing."

"What is your problem?" He asked me oblivious to the real problem: him.

"You know." I theoretically pulled out my dagger in my mind. "If Millie saw you right now, what would she think?"

The anger grew darker and darker on his face. He was fuming, past the point that Felix brought him to. He didn't even look at me anymore.

I took the opportunity to pick up my bag but before my fingers touched the canvas, his wrapped around my wrist pulling me up.

"Do. Not. Talk. About. Her. Ever. Again." He said through gritted teeth and fear sank into my veins. His hand gripped me tightly, almost to the point of bruising. I twisted my wrist and managed to pull free, cradling my hand.

"You're a monster." I spat at him for the first time in my life. He had never been so mean. He had never grabbed be before. Never touched me in a way that could truly hurt me. _Monster_ was the only way I knew how to describe him in this moment.

I searched his face for any sign of remorse but found none.

I picked up my bag and left him in the house.

I walked back to my own small house through the rain, which was still pouring in hard thumps against me. I heard the lightening crack in the distance and flashes of light every few feet. This was the storm that was stuck in his mind.

He didn't have any right for that storm, though. He was making this all up in his head and it was making me angry just thinking about it. He wouldn't let me go shopping but was even angrier when I went to Felix to talk and obviously sleep. I wounded Peter's ego and he wouldn't let it go.

As I climbed the rope bridge, something was off. There was a light on in my house. No one was in there so a fire shouldn't have been burning. Against my better judgment, I walked across the bridge and pushed open the wooden door.

On the far wall was a message again, in blood just like the first. 'Don't look now. Your life is over'.  
I gasped and fell to the ground.

Before the darkness took over, a large rock fell to the floor next to my head.

_Your life is over. _

* * *

I gasped awake. I felt as if I hadn't taken a breath in a year. My throat was dry. I looked around and realized I wasn't in Felix's house anymore. I was in the forest. Rain softly dripped from trees around me. The sky was dark again, any trace of the day had disappeared.

I was tied to a tree trunk. Nothing was around me accept trees and a small fire near my feet. "Hello?" I yelled into the darkness. I tried to move but my arms were bound to my sides. "Help!" I screamed. The dryness in my throat kept it from being loud.

A figure emerged from the forest and my breathing became more ragged as the figure yelled back. "Shut up!"

"Leave me alone." I cried. "Help!" I screamed again. Cameron approached me quickly and cupped his hand over my mouth.

"I said be quiet." He threatened me darkly.

I squirmed beneath his hand. Someone could hear me. They have to. Neverland could echo my screams.

He roughly grabbed my chin. "No one can hear you." He whispered into my ear. His breath sent chills down my spine. He grinned as he pulled back. His hand moved up his leg and fished around his pocket.  
"SOMEONE HELP ME!" I screamed as loud as I could manage and he immediately slapped me to get me to stop.

"Shut up!" I felt my cheek on fire as he pulled a bandana from his pocket and hastily wrapped it around my mouth to the back of my head, gagging me.

I felt sick as he licked his lips and stood. He disappeared as he walked past me. My heart was beating uncontrollably beneath my chest. What was he doing? Why was he doing it? I didn't do anything.  
The rope around me loosened as he let me go from my anchor.

He reappeared before me and leaned down on his knee. He reached out and touched my cheek. I moved my head from his grasp as he lifted grinned angrily at me.

"Oh, Princess, it'll all be over soon." He gave me a sick smile and pulled me to my feet. I tried pushing him away but his hand grasped around mine before I lifted them. He spun me around quickly and pushed me to the tree. He tied my hands together and shoved me into the tree again."Don't worry, Princess, your prince won't worry about you." His hot breath in my ear made me cringe away from him. He placed a hand on my shoulder and pushed me to walk.

I planted my feet fully into the ground so I couldn't move. Thoughts were swarming my mind and I couldn't single one out. All I knew was that I couldn't let myself move. If I fought back, maybe he would let me go.

"My patience is running thin." He touched my chin and I whipped my head away again. I needed to reach the blade in my boot. "Fine." He sighed and he lifted me over his shoulder and I began kicking erratically. He didn't seem to notice as he continued to walk us into the forest.

All I saw was the ground as he walked us deep into the forest. Suddenly, I was drowsy. I could barely lift my head, my kicking feet stopped a long time ago. I think he drugged me before I woke up. He had to have known I would put up a fight. After a hour, he stopped and dropped me to the ground.

"Here's your final resting place." He said with fake mourning. He took a knee in front of me again and looked at me curiously before wrapping another rope around my ankles.

"You know," he started with a smile. "When you got here, I thought there would be something between us. You're so pretty." He touched my head and closed my eyes pushing him away touch, his voice, was too much to handle. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to kill him. "But then you rejected me and embarrassed me in front of everyone and I can't have that." He touched my thigh. "But now you'll be heartbroken."

I scoffed. Heartbroken? The only think I am is angry. Heartbroken didn't even make the top ten.

This angered him. "Don't, Wendy." He tugged gently on my hair. "It'll make it a lot more painful." He said his words with a softness that made them much worse. He said everything in a way that I assumed one would find comforting. But now, right here, it put me on more of an edge than anything. I knew right then that I just wanted him to kill me. Put me out of this misery. He had plans more sinister than I could handle. It showed on his face. It laced in his voice.

He stood up and unwrapped a rope that was wound around a branch. A large box began to descend from the tree and landed with a thud on the ground. The box couldn't be more than four feet by five feet. It was tiny. Panic filled my throat. He was going to put me in the box.

Cameron moved towards it and opened the lid. He smiled at his work and looked at me. "Welcome to your new home." He confirmed my fears.

He lazily walked towards me and I heard my blood pumping in my ears. "I ruined your other one, this was the least I could do." He slid his hands under me and lifted me. I tried one last time to squirm from his grasp but he held tight and the drugs were still laced in my blood. "Stop. You'll only be here for a few days. After Pan stops looking, I'll come and get you." He gave me what he thought was a reassuring smile and lifted me into the box. "Then we'll have some fun. Then I'll kill you." He whispered the last part and tears stung my eyes.

"No, no, no." He touched my cheek. "Don't cry. You'll be fine." He dug around his pockets again. He pulled out a needle and pushed then pump slightly until liquid came out the needle. "You won't even wake up to live your last moments." He shrugged. "Well, these last moments. You'll be present for the fun and the death."

I swallowed as he moved the needle closer to me and I screamed as he pushed the fine point into my neck.

"Goodnight, sweet, sweet Wendy." He whispered against my hair and I slumped against the back of the box.

And again, everything went black.


	13. Chapter 13

Hey Guys! I am soooo SORRY that I haven't updated this story in a while! Life has been a whirlwind lately and with the holidays it has just been a lot. :( I will be posting more in the next few days so I am giving you this little chapter to hold you over for just a little bit (A day or two) Then I will be adding a much longer chapter next!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for following and everything! I appreciate it so much! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

* * *

When I regained consciousness, Instead of black, everything was white. Hazy like a mist set over the forest. I was alone. Shivering from the coldness that surrounded me.

The last day had been a blur. From what I remember, Cameron had placed me in the box almost 24 hours ago and I have been drugged up for most of it. He reappeared at various times to threaten, taunt, and drug me, all in a fuzzy rage. Every time he showed, my fear grew and grew as he yelled about Peter looking for me.

"He's sent the boys out to look for you!" He yelled at me in disbelief as I looked up at him scared he would do something rash. I could see it in his face that he truly believed Peter wouldn't come for me. He leaned in close to me. "Don't worry though. He won't find you." He touched my matted hair. "You'll be able to escape this nasty place if only in death."

The way he looked at me showed that I didn't have too much time left. Cameron was growing too nervous to drag this out any longer than originally planned. Even now as I walked around the empty forest, I knew I wasn't safe.

I stumbled over the twigs and roots as I moved in the direction of the camp. Cameron had taken my boots from me, claiming that they would only give me a chance to run away from him. The sun wasn't out nor was the darkness with the moon. It was a light grey that normally was brought on with snow but no white dust fell around me. The hazed air was eerily still. No sound moved past me besides the breaking of twigs beneath me.

"I told you." The familiar voice broke through the soundless air. "Danger."

I opened my mouth to respond but no words left. "Where am I?" I thought back. As real as this scene seemed and felt, I wasn't really here.

"Safer than you are in your own head." The voice filled my mind. A dark mist formed in front of me into the shape of a person. The island's shadow.

"Am I dead?" I held back my tears. It felt like I was dead. No heart beat under my skin. The only thing that was left of my humanity was my anger that lined my still blood.

The shadow twisted in a no. "No. Death is easy. You are going to live in agony for a little while."

"Haven't I been through enough?" I leaned against a nearby tree. The energy I just had to run was now gone and tiredness took over as if to make a point of the agony I would soon endure.

"The drugs the boy placed in you were much more powerful than dreamshade. Peter will do his best to help, but the pain has to pump through your veins before it goes away."

Dreamshade was the most potent drug on the island and I knew its effects. Whatever Cameron has been giving me had to be from somewhere else. "Can you help me?"

It twisted again. "Nothing can. Once it lays its path, it will be gone. But until then, the pain must be felt."

"Will death be easier?"

"Not for you." It moved around me. "You have much to live for. Your brothers, yourself, Peter, those back in Storybrooke."

I exhaled drowsily. "I don't even know where my brothers are." I haven't even been looking for them. I didn't have an excuse not to either. I just wasn't.

Its voice morphed into a soft whisper. "Your mind has taken a break from their worry. It's okay." It reassured me. "Your worrying is clouding the obvious. Everything's within reach, you just can't see where anything is because the worry is shielding you. You will be sent on your mission once again."

"You told me to stay away from Peter."

It seemed to sigh. "Peter will end up hurting you but before he does, you'll be able to retract yourself. You'll be able to stop him. Until then, the heart's desire is strongest."

"My heart?"

It nodded. "You have feelings for him. Feelings that never died when you did. Losing your memory in Storybrooke only caused you to forget who you felt, not what."

I knew what it meant as I remembered myself in the curse. "I loved somebody all that time."

"But never knew who. It's him." It finished for me.

"Ow!" I gripped my stomach in pain and fell to the ground. It felt like someone was stabbing me slowly to make sure I felt it.

"It's beginning." The shadow noted. "It's time to go back."

I screamed in agony.

"Wendy, listen to me." I looked up to the shadow despite the pain. It spoke quickly so I had to focus to comprehend what it was saying. "You have to listen to your heart. It will guide you. Just don't forget to take your head along. The pain will subdue then reemerge in a few hours. Stay in bed. Lying down will help the pain."

"I can't." I yelled back in agony. The pain was growing and it couldn't be ignored.

I felt my chin lift and the shadow had a grip on me. "Listen to me, Wendy." I looked at its familiar glowing eyes. "When the she comes, say no."

"Who?"

"The angel of death." The shadow disappeared and I was alone again.

* * *

I woke up in the tight box. The air was sucked from the small space and I leaned forward to put pressure on the stabbing in my stomach. The pressure helped a little but I could still feel the pain.

"Wendy?!" His voice broke through my thoughts. It was a frantic call. He was scared for me.

I was tired still but began lifting my legs to drop onto the bottom of the box. It was taking all my energy but I needed to make a sound. It was hard. I screamed through the bandana. He'd hear me, right?

"Wendy?!" I heard his voice near. My heart began to speed up as he approached.

The box began to shake and I felt it begin to drop, slowly downwards. He was rescuing me.

"Wendy!" I saw his outline through the box and I began kicking the floor more quickly. "Wendy." I saw a blade dip through the cracks of the top of the box to cut the rope that tied it but Peter stopped it. "Stop! You might hurt her." I watched him raise a hand and wave it over the box and the rope untied itself. The lid of the box opened and sunlight poured onto my face and the inside of the box. I watched relief wash over his face. His mouth turned down at the sight of me. I was a mess. Dirt was smeared on various parts of me, the dark blue bandana around my mouth, the tight space I was in. My tear stained cheeks.

It was a picture to be seen.

"Wendy." He leaned into the box and brought a blade to my cheek. I cringed away and he froze. "I need to cut the bandana off." He slipped his fingers between my cheek and the tight fabric and slid the knife expertly, slicing the fabric off of my cheek. He did the same for my hands and feet then pulled me up, into his arms.

"Wendy, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He repeated and repeated into my hair as I embraced him tightly, crying into his jacket. I knew by being with him no one could hurt me besides him and in that moment, I couldn't care less about what he could do because I knew he wouldn't. Not now.

"I'm sorry." He smoothed my hair. "It's okay." He was trying to comfort himself through his own words.

We stood there for a while. Him on the outside of the box and me leaning against the inside of it. I breathed in his scent. I was happy he came. Apart of me didn't think he would.

"Come on." He lifted me effortlessly into his arms and put one arm behind my knees to lift me. "Hunter, tell Felix to meet me at camp." Peter directed a lost boy I didn't know was standing there.

"I want to go shower." I said quietly into his chest.

"Never mind. Tell him to meet me at the falls with new clothes for Wendy and soap." I heard footsteps walk away and I knew the boy accepted this task.

"Are you okay?" He touched my hair as he began walking into the forest.

"Can you fly us there?" I asked. I wanted to be rid of this day. I needed to wash away everything.

Peter nodded and we were lifted off the ground.

I peeled off my clothes, not caring whether or not Peter watched. I wanted to get rid of all that remained of today. I didn't want his smell on me or his fingerprints. I wanted it all gone. I walked into the rock cave and let my body be covered by the waterfall. When I knew Peter was away from me, I began to cry again. My tears blended into the water falling on my body and I let them. I didn't want to think about Cameron and what he did but I couldn't help it. The repeated flashes of him standing over me and touching me made me crumble more into myself. I kneeled on the ground and held my head in my hands. How could I have let this happen?

"Wendy." I felt Peter's presence next to me and he kneeled down. "Cameron has been dealt with." Peter read my mind. I brushed my wet hair back and looked at the ground.

"I want to see him."

Peter shook his head. "Absolutely not."

"He deserves what I will give him."

"When we reach camp, I'm dealing with him." Peter tried to be assertive but it didn't make a difference.

"When we reach camp, I'm dealing with him." I retorted and looked over at him. "He said he was going to wait until you stop your search before he came back to me. To have 'fun' then kill me."

"I'll deal with it." Peter said like it would be the last of this conversation.

"I'm going to kill him."

"As much as I want you to do that, I don't kill lost boys."

"I'll make the sacrifice." Felix appeared behind Peter with clothes and a bar of soap in his hand. "I can take the blood on my hands." Felix walked towards us and Peter stood to take the items from his hands.

I gave him doubtful eyes. "I said I was going to do it. Not either of you." I stood and took the bar of soap off the pile of clothes.

"We don't kill lost boys." Peter said again. The sound of his voice made it seem like he was trying to convince himself at this point.

"I'm not a lost boy. I don't care what I have to do, Peter, Cameron will pay for his actions."

"And I will be by her side." Felix added.

I gave Felix a small smile and Peter looked back and forth at us.

"I don't kill lost boys." Peter said defeated.


	14. Chapter 14

**Thanks, Guest, for your input these last two updates. I know last chapter was pretty anticlimactic. I didn't really want it to get to big if that's understandable? I felt like I could have made it a lot better but it would have made it gruesome and I didn't really want to go that route. Thank you, though, for commenting! I'm glad someone cares for this :) **  
**And merry belated Christmas and god bless you too.**

**Sorry this update was so late by the way! I got sick and the holidays and it was a hot mess.**

* * *

It was dark now. The fire was crackling next to us. Peter was gone, he didn't want to be a part of this, and Felix stood a few feet away, taking his signature stance against a tree. Cameron was standing against a large tree in front of me. Felix had tied him tight against the bark and he had no room to even move an inch. I paced in front of him, weaving his own knife through my fingers like a piece of string.

"If you're going to kill me, can we hurry it along?" He exhaled loudly like a kid reluctantly following his parents.

I frowned slightly. "Death is too easy."

"Stop with the dramatics! Just kill me!" He yelled as he thrashed against the ropes holding him.

Felix moved around me and raised his club to him. "If death is what you want, I will make it slow and utterly painful." He swung the club hard against his head. Not hard enough to knock him out but hard enough to hear it.

"Where's Pan?" Cameron spat blood onto the ground. "Shouldn't he be here to watch his prodigy break his number one rule?"

Felix lifted the club again but instead of hitting him, he pushed his chin up. "Hoping he'll grant you mercy?"

He shook his head. "Maybe he'll just kill me himself."

"Why did you do it?" I interrupted their exchange.

He rolled his eyes as if his reasoning was obvious. "You need to die for this land to continue in peace."

"Because I'm a girl?" I asked doubtfully. My gender had nothing to do with the island. Did I put someone at risk by being one? No.

He rolled his eyes again, annoyed. "No because you're _the_ girl."

"What?" He made it seem like I was written into the scriptures of the land.

He laughed. "You don't even know! You have no idea!"

I looked at Felix and he shrugged a little, not knowing what he was talking about either. "What are you talking about?" I asked again.

"You need to get back on the ground." Cameron said cryptically.

"Excuse me?"

He smirked at me. "You'll know in time."

I waved the knife in front of his face. "I'm going to kill you now."

"Oh, I hope so." He grinned like he would enjoy this as much as me. I looked at Felix and he receded back to the tree he was at before he hit Cameron. Although he said he would be on my side, I knew Felix could not physically do it. He could bring him to the brink of death but I don't think he could pull the trigger.

I leaned closer. "I am going to rip-" I pushed the knife into his shoulder. "-your shadow off of you and burn it to the ground."

He took a deep breath at the pain. "At least I still have my shadow for the moment."

"I have my shadow." I said between us. Peter never stole my shadow like he did to people. The darkness still followed me in the light.

He nodded sarcastically. "Sure you do. Just like I'm sorry I tried to kill you."

I twisted the blade and he grunted beneath it. Blood poured faster, soaking his clothes. Even if I didn't kill him, this wound would be hard to heal. "You can't even see it." His breathing deepened as I twisted more. "You're too blind."

"You too." I retracted the blade from his shoulder and moved it towards his face. I had every intent to cut his eyes from his skull before a hand pulled the blade from me.

Peter stood over me holding the bloodied knife. "Get up." He ordered me and I stayed put.

"I'm going to kill him, Peter."

"Get up, Wendy." He quickly gripped under my arm and tried to pull me to stand but I swiftly pulled his knife from his belt and held it against Cameron's throat like the first day.

"Rot in Hell." I said softly before I slit his throat.

"No!" Peter roughly pushed me out of the way and held Cameron's head as his eyes pleaded for a second before becoming still.

Cameron slumped against the ropes that bound him. His neck was sliced ever so slightly and blood dripped from the fine line, soaking his collar and beyond. His stilled eyes stared straight. They were glassy, a thin film covered them.

"He deserved it, Peter." I whispered at him and the corpse in front of him. I was breathing heavily, the adrenaline pumping through my blood. I didn't feel anything looking at the soulless body. Maybe because he had no soul to begin with. Maybe because I felt like I had done something right.

"No lost boy deserves to die." Peter turned to me and I dropped the knife when I saw his face. Anger and sadness flashed in his dark eyes. I knew he didn't care for Cameron like he did for some of the other boys but he was angry that a lost boy died on his watch. He didn't kill boys. They were already lost, he didn't want them wandering the earth on the other side. But he didn't pull the trigger, I did.

"He was a monster, Peter."

Peter stood in front of me. "People call me a monster. Do I deserve to die?" His voice grew with every word. He thought he was like Cameron? The boy who tried to kill me? Who was going to kill me?

I motioned to Cameron. "He wasn't like you. He was going to rape than kill me. He is a monster! How do you know this has never happened before? This could have happened a thousand times before me and you don't even know!" My voice was rising but I didn't care. It needed to match Peter's if I wanted him to listen.

Peter shook his head. "I know everything on this island. He was a bad person but he didn't deserve to die. Not on Neverland."

Then it hit me. The reason he was so mad about it. He made a silent promise to these boys that he would give them a home, a family. Unconditional love. But now, what did he have to show? A dead boy? No. A symbol that Peter will break his promise.

"Peter, you didn't do anything. I did."

"I was here! I was a witness."

"So was I." Felix finally stepped up. He didn't want to get involved. "You did nothing to him. Wendy took the life."

Wendy took the life.

_Wendy._

_Me._

_I killed someone._

* * *

Peter didn't speak to me for a few days. After Felix took away Cameron's body, Peter stayed out of sight for a while. I told the other lost boys what happened, no one was surprised. They had heard what happened with me and how I knew I wanted to do something about it. Peter removed himself from all activities. Even with the pain growing inside me with the passing time, he refused to acknowledge me. He is so afraid that if he acknowledges what I did that it would make him a hypocrite and a supporter of things he promised he was against. I didn't see it that way, neither did Felix nor the other lost boys. "He shouldn't have done that." Most all agreed. "He deserved it." The others more harshly told us. But Peter didn't care. He "let it" happen.

It didn't come to me as a shock when I spent most of the past nights in pain by myself. Felix offered to stay with me but I declined, not wanting to anger Peter more. My whole life here revolved around someone who didn't even seem to care.

I was spending one of these lonely nights curled in the blanket on the ground, near the window. The pain had reached a level that, if to get worse, would possibly put my body into shock. I found the cool air to be somewhat soothing.

I followed the grains and nooks of the wooden floor as I thought about my fate. Ever since I slit his throat, I fear everything but mostly myself. I don't think I can handle the island like I once could. It was driving me mad. I killed someone.

My scream split the air. The sudden, overwhelming pain from my abdomen seemed to break free from its hold and spread quickly throughout my body. I felt the stabbing in my legs, arms, fingers, and head, everywhere I had nerves. The abandonment rose more so when I realized this was the moment I was going to die.

"Hello."

I looked up despite the pain and tears flowing down my face. A taller woman stood above me. She had red lipstick lining her thin lips. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a tight bun at the nape of her neck. Her dark eyes were covered by a black birdcage veil perched near her hairline and she was dressed in a long black gown that was detailed with lace. It looked as if she was going to a funeral. I realized then that it was my funeral.

I pushed against my abdomen as if my hand was a band-aid and it would help contain the pain. She watched me with curious eyes. "You asked for me."

"It's too much." I choked on my tears.

"'_It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light_.'" She quoted with a sad smile as she approached me. "Someone has spoken to you about this moment."

I gave a slight nod. It was all I could manage as the pain continued to increase. I wasn't even sure how it could increase any more than it already was.

"You are much conflicted about the bloodshed." Her dress was dragging on the floor and I couldn't help but feel a slight concern that her dress would gather dust. "My dress is fine, Gwendolyn." She read my mind. I looked at her face and noticed how she was aged so beautifully. You could tell she had seen many things and has lived a long time, but she still held grace.

"I'm not ready to die."

"I know." She kneeled in front of me. "Not everyone is but I can take away all your pain."

"They told me not to go with you."

"That isn't their decision." The statement served as a cue for her wings to emerge from her back gracefully. They extended, the black feathers ruffling each other softly before settling against one another. This seemed too unreal. Angels didn't exist. I don't even know if god did. "You know that isn't true." She touched my forehead. "God is watching this right now."

I twisted in pain, my sight becoming patchy as the pain reached the maximum my body could hold. "I can't."

"Kiss me and I will set you free." She was so calm, serene. I wanted her to take away all my problems. She leaned her head closer to mine, her lips a few inches away. Time seemed to slow. As much as I wanted to rid myself of this pain, I wasn't sure if I was ready to rid myself of my life. My hope. I needed to find my brothers even though the journey to do so has been lost. I needed to save Peter even though he was happy being lost.

I couldn't do that without being alive.

"Wait." I turned my head and the angel stopped her advancement. "I'm not ready." I breathed between us.

"Are you sure?" Her eyes held concern that I didn't see before.

I nodded slowly. "I have much to do."

"I knew you weren't done yet." Her brilliant wings folded back into her back. "Fate isn't done with you yet."

I exhaled, relieved that she let me go.

"This will hurt." She lowered her hand to my temple and pushed. I screamed as pressure built in my head.

"Stop!" The angel ignored me and held her own as I tried pushing her away.

"I'll see you again." She said as my vision went black but my mind continued to race. Her voice was like a thought as it passed through my buzzing mind. "One day."

Instantly, all the pain was gone. My surroundings came to light as my vision came back. I felt empty where the pain had been. Including my heart.

* * *

**Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! If you know where the angel of death reference comes from, comment! It comes from one of my favorite shows! I'll give you a hint: It's on FX! ;)**


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